...I've been desperately trying to cling to some vestige of sanity these last few months...and I'm not sure if I'll be able to do so for much longer... ...I can't think straight long enough to do anything remotely talented art-wise...and well...life has reached a point where I no longer feel as if I'm living (if indeed I ever did)...things happen around me and I no longer feel that it's real...or that I have any impact on anything...maybe life is just an extended dream...and I just want to wake up... ...this picture was done partially in Photoshop and a chunk from an old Poser render...it's nothing special...it simply describes how I feel...and have felt for most of my life...which seems waaaaay too long in my opinion...all of the negative things have built up to a point where I can no longer contain them or carry them...and it's begun to finally overflow...and leak out, despite my best intentions...so in closing...I suppose I'll finish with an excerpt from a song I was writing a few years ago...but never finished: "Vacancy" "emptiness inside something yawning wide I cannot abide these feelings deep inside this vacancy... ...in me" ...I find it rather ironic that I speak of overflowing and then of emptiness...perhaps one can be "filled" with emptiness..? |: L