I miss my mom...I want my mom..what a childish thing to say...but whats even worse is, I mean it. I never realized how close we were until she was gone.I always loved you and I know you knew that. I'm sorry I didn't stay at the hospital more, I'm sorry I didn't get up there enough to see you, I'm sorry I didn't send you birthday cards...I'm sorry you had to call me instead of me calling you on that last mothers day, two weeks before you left. I'm sorry I couldn't make you stay. I miss you so much. Well, now that I'm crying, I think it's time to stop. My heart just aches so much. To hold your hand, feel your silky smooth moms hands under mine....I always loved how soft your hands were. Did I ever tell you that?......I swear I felt you that night...the night you passed away....I was so wore out from the day..crying all day....I was sleeping on your couch and I felt you sit beside me...I swear I felt you...the cushion actually moved...I felt you hold my hand...My God, I felt you and it scared me....I woke up crying....then I wished I could go back to sleep just to feel you again...I still wish I could....just to feel you again...I have to go, mom. I love you. ------------------------------------------------ am really sorry for bothering you *again* with these kind of renders , but I really donno .. my mom was my "muse" for the last few days ..... am sorry .. -------------------------------------------------