Three temptations in the desert ------------------------------- I have come to believe that all things that are, have also their shadow. There are places, in this world, so full of life they buzz and twirl with endless activity under both sun and moon. There are empty places that cherish in the small life they hold in their ground, and celebrate every small speck of it. And as even the most barren of lands has its own personal life, even if it holds none, so there must be, and therefore is, the non-place, the non-life. A land that is truly empty. To such a place I found myself once, under circumstances unknown even to me. I looked around and saw only an endless desert of yellowish sand, under a cruel, crystal clear blue sky. And while the sight was not one to frighten me, I was afraid, as I felt so alone, as never before. This land, not alive and not dead, was simply and ruthlessly empty. I felt my mind fill and overflow with both familiar and strange thoughts, as my eyes were darting from horizon to horizon, unable to find any reference point. Life, which we always feel and never realize it, was absent. I had nothing specific to think about, nothing to define myself with, other than myself, and this emptied my mind. Then drained of all thought and emotion, I realized I was in the desert of deserts, the one true labyrinth, the one with no walls to guide you to the exit, the place where all guidance must come from inside. Hours may have passed, while I was left stunned by that so common, and so extraordinary landscape, when I saw that two person have appeared close to me. I'm not sure if they came without me noticing, or if I drifted unconsiously towards them. In any case, I felt they couldn't see me, whether because I was a disembodied presence, like in some dreams, or because they just chose to completely ignore me. The one closer to me was a dark haired man, in his thirties, dressed in an old brown robe. His hair and beard were dirty, long and tangled. He had the looks of a hermit, though he was bright-eyed and walked straight. The other I was not sure of. He was either a young man, or (and in that case, 'she') a young girl, not quite a woman yet, dressed entirely in white. His/Her face was calm and handsome, and his voice, when he/she spoke, was soft and flowing; either that of a young man, or of a low-pitched woman. - So there is no changing your mind . he/she said to the hermit. - No. - Still, you know it could be in vain. - It either will be, or it will not. said the hermit. There is no way knowing which, even for me. - Hm. What a great price to pay for nothing. He/She said. - And a small price for everything. said the hermit. They walked a small distance in silence. - You cannot expect of rocks and sand to become food and water. the white-robed person said. There will always be rocks and sand in your way, things you cannot affect, people you can't change. - Yes. There will also be trees and fields and rivers. Even the desert is bound to become a forest in its time. said the hermit, looking straight ahead. - And when it turns back into desert, what of it then? What would you have done with its life? - I... All things change, and change back, and change again. he said. - So you will crush all rocks and blow away all sand. True, all things change though ... said the man/woman. He/She seemed to drop the argument, tired perhaps. - Not this place, though. he/she said after a while. - No, not this place. They continued to walk towards their unseen destination. Some steps later, the young person raised his eyes and took the hermit's hand. - Come, I'll show you. he/she said. Without them moving, a steep chasm appeared just in front of them. Clouds were dimly visible in the dark depths. - Could you jump in there? said the man/woman. - Certainly. - Would you die if you did? - Yes. - So you won't jump. Suppose, then, I was to convince you so perfectly, that you'd define yourself in the belief that a benevolent force would surely catch you, the last instant before you'd hit the ground, and carry you in white clouds back to safety. Wouldn't you jump then? Wouldn't you die? The hermit thought this for a while. - I can't fault your argument. he said. That isn't the case, though. I'm not offering safety through belief. Not safety. And not through belief. True, I'd probably die if I went down that cliff. Some of them will die. Some will not. Some may jump out of foolishness, others may jump even knowingly they'd die. And some may build a bridge. That is not belief. That is not safety. - But it could be. You will not control it, and it could be. - And it could not. said the hermit, and took a step over the cliff's edge. His foot landed on nothing but sand. The chasm was no longer there; an illusion maybe, even if I heard the wind screaming one long, dark, trembling note in the depths, even if I felt it trying to drag me in. Maybe an illusion, maybe something completely different. The young man/woman stood motionless watching his/her companion walking. - Look at me. he/she said after a pause. The hermit, who had walked a few steps,turned and looked. - Look at what will be yours. said the man/woman. He/She raised his hand. Where he was standing, I could no longer see either him/her or the desert. At first, I thought it an illusion, but soon the vision expanded to surround me. I was no longer in the desert, or maybe I was and my sight was not. I saw buildings as tall as the sky, cities as vast as the sea. Rivers of people were flowing by towers of stone and glass and metal. I saw the lights of the cities, glittering like stars under the dark sky, more incredible in their glow and color and formation than the real stars. I was lost in images from behind the eyes of every man and woman and they were glorious, magnificently glorious. I saw, then, the earth being furiously swarmed by endless wonders, that looked like balls of frozen light, running in lines and curves and circles, with great speed. I saw people holding the vessels, from which these lights sprung and to which they returned, and the people were happy. I saw the grand armies of the earth marching, and they were magnificent. But each man in these armies held a scythe in his right hand and a chalice in his left, and their footprints were filled with blood. I saw the armies take the form of a black-clad figure, that stood towering over the land, blocking the sun. I saw the figure open its hand, and, inside, I saw a monstrous child die from hunger in front of a feast, its belly swollen, its skeletal limbs still trembling, its head hung back. I saw its red eyes looking upwards to a smoky oily sky as it collapsed to the ash-filled ground. Then the vision stopped. - All that will become yours. said the man/woman. All this will be done under your name, whether you succeed or not. His/her stern stare was locked on the other man. The hermit lowered his eyes. He was breathing shallowly and fast. His voice was broken. - I... I do not want ... I do not wish for all this... he said. The young man/woman took a deep breath. - I know. he/she said, and started to walk to his companion. He seemed older, then, without visibly changing. He seemed really, unimaginably old and tired, dragging his feet with difficulty on the pale sand. He/She put his hand on the hermit's shoulder. - But you can't stop, can you? he/she said. The man placed his hand on top, and after holding it for a while, he removed it. - Come he said. Let's leave this place. Walk behind me. And they walked, until, sooner than I'd think, they were far away, merely visible, hard to distinguish them both. Just a man and his shadow. *** I do not know if I really saw these events. They could be a fragment of memory or of imagination; the brain after all is such a deceptive little thing. Maybe I really was there, in spirit if not in body; maybe I'll never know, and it'll always remain a story, perhaps true, but not real. Quite possibly it was a dream, though I am not exactly sure what it meant, if it had any meaning. Even if so, I cannot tell if the dream was my own. I can no longer tell. Maybe I dreamt it when I was somebody else. A fragment of a memory of a dream, from some other mind, in some other place. ------------- Hope you liked it , feel free to tell me what you think . I do hope my english is okay...