There are some good ideas, though in my opinion a thorough pruning will help. It needs to be more succinct, more focussed. Try cutting it down in different ways so that it says precisely what you want it to ... though don't lose the raw emotion - that's a very positive part of the work. The image is excellent for the words.

I reckon my old times of heart pain so well there. I know how it feels but.. it will pass sooner than you imagine. Just believe it can.. and it will be a quicker healing, for real. The image is very apt.

Thanks for your comments - and sharing this with me @meico I originally planned to make a song out of it maybe thats the part which I ll need to clean out. @gallimel I believe it will but at the moment loneliness and sadness overwhelm me more than often. Even if I am out with friends at the moment everyone goes home- everything comes back. Last Thursday she send a message: "I am back in town. Are you ok?" Initially I had a long writing for her which I planned to send as a letter. So I just send her an SMS "Congratulation to the first month of being parted" she answered "???". The next day I planned to send her the letter but I felt the urge to let her know immediately so I wrote her that I am not ok, that I wish her to be happy but that it makes me sick to have nothing to do with it anymore..." I signed with "goodbye". Well She did not respond yet... and it is allmost a week gone.. Should I contact her or wait for her (maybe she will never ever respond again)?