Bring me back to life by fantasy2
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Description
Even though I scream
Even though I bleed
Even though I cry
All I ever heed
All I ever see
Are the memories
That I keep alive
Running Through my veins
Filling all my brain
All I feel is you
Even though it
Comments (6)
RadelBaluvar
As soon as the soul with its experiences penetrates into the field of the supernatural, these experiences are from such a kind that the linguistic expressions for them can not be found. Keep on Rockin'
cagewench
I love how you start this: "Even though I scream Even though I bleed Even though I cry ... All I ever heed All I ever see Are the memories That I keep alive" It sets up a nice pace and a good emotional state :) The only change I would suggest is: "Cease my cry and tears" that reads off to me, I would think you meant to put "crying" if I am right?
netsia
Excellent....I know this feeling....dreams were my favorite time, though in dream time ALL is real. Your love is still with you so very strong.
TallPockets
Wonderful work.
FlutterbyeJo
Wow, I love this raw emotion, written with passion V
AusPoet
Excellent piece of work, with terrific rhyme and meter. I do agree with cagewench on the choice of phrase for "cease my cry and tears"... yes, it has rhythm and makes sense according to the story you are telling. The truth is though, that despite the fact that it fits technically, it was a line that gave me cause to pause and think, "How could the writer improve that line?" It would be better if there is nothing there to interrupt the flow of thought provoked by an overall excellent piece. You've got my vote btw. :-)