Santa Claus is Dead!!! by Digimon

Photography • Humor • posted on Dec 10, 2004

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Description

Today the world gasped in horror, at the news of the most horrific murder of our time. The horribly mutilated body of Santa Claus, lay broken, face down in the dirt, beneath a tree in a wealthy suburb of St. Paul Minnesota. His body was so brutalized that he seemed "Flattened" The coroner said that his lungs had been collapsed. The only thing that remained "Vertical", were his boots & red cap. "At least he died with his boots on!" Frank Warner, a retired marine, proudly proclaimed. "What will the children do?!?" sobbed another on looker. "Who could do such a heinous thing?" Asked one of the neighbors. Indeed, who could perform such a senseless and brutal act on our favorite chubby elf? Local sheriff Barney Fife declared, "We will not rest until the perpetrators of this despicable crime are brought to justice!" Some are already calling for capitol punishment to be instated as punishment for the criminals. Mrs. Claus could not be reached for comment. A public funeral will be held on the 25th of December. No word yet on who Santa's replacement will be. But as one sobbing on looker said, "No one can replace that fat bastard! *Sob* , no one!" Sorry! LOL! nice picture to start my reposting aye? Saw this "Photo-opp" on the way to work, every morning for a week. Slowly, inevitably, this sick story formed in my head. So I vowed to take my camera to work, if it was still there, I would... No offense to true beliervers! Santa is unharmed! I hope everyone enjoys fun & safe holidays! *No "Actual" Santa's were harmed in the making of this parody!!!* ; )

Comments (16)

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butterfly_fish

4:27PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

HAHAHA!!!! Oh, man Eric, that was great! I mean, uh, poor Santa. sniff V

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RobertJ

4:43PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

Certainly not a "Blaze" of glory

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robotalk

4:45PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

1606---I think NOT---it's a touch up on 1 -666--the doorstep of the beast !! If Santa --(satan spelled sideways)--delivered there, I'm sure he's still plummeting down the chimney to the sulphur infused underground...and only his long johns (some people call it a costume) the only thing left for "St. Paul CSI " to investigate.. including the grampa smurf underoos --good thing he only wears his Hello Kitty thong on new years--a mystery -a tragedy--a best sellin DVD @ Walmart in just 6 day from Wednesday !

krsstoff

5:10PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

Welcome back, Digimon ! Glad to see you again ! The one who stole the beard of Santa will be so kind to bring back it to the reception ... Santa Klaus's not dead !

cynlee

5:23PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

hohohohoho!!! very funny!! i noticed Frosty the Snowman has met a similar demise!! a conspiracy? WB! :]

logiloglu

5:56PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

hope this isnt true in real. i like your idea. i am glad to see you back,too. !!!!!!!!!! #:O) !!!!!!!!!

Lorraine

6:02PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

YIKES....this is so ha ha ...ho ho ho...great story to go with it....I am sure it was just one of santa's "helpers" .....great job and I hope you add more to your gallery...

soloshado

9:46PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

OH WELL...one down...six billion more to go...hehehe...hahaha...HO!

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GladysClump

11:57PM | Fri, 10 December 2004

LOL, I saw a whole lawn full of these sad things the other day, santa, snowmen, elves. Looked like Santa's workshop massacre. Glad to see you posting again.

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