My throat is dry when I
keep the hate alive
your lips are tight when I
cover them with mine
this is a sickness
you cannot conceive
IT TAKES THE QUIET
TO NOT EXCEED
Its an affliction
nothing comes to mind
Its unstrategic
nothing comes to mind
where is your comfort now
its on the way out
where are your reasons now
theyre all worn out
BIOThis is not a memoir, this is not a recollection. To be honest, i don't have the slightest idea whatsoever
as to what this is. My only inspiration for doing this is..well, that i'm different. I always have
been, and probably always will be. This book is for the lost souls: The Renegades, the freaks,
the outcasts, the artists, the off-beat and the ill-conceived. Ok, i lied, it's a little bit of a memoire,
a little bit of a recollection, but MOSTLY a stab at, life.. i guess.

This is my take so far.. it would appear that everything in the universe revolves. Protons and electrons
around the nucleus of an atom. Blood cells in your circulatory system and so on and so forth until BANG, there's
universe. Planets revolving around suns, solar systems turning together around the center of a galaxy.. you get what i'm
saying. And while, physical life, biological life follows a somewhat similar cycle, it's hard to
compare to the rest of the universe. Mainly because it's just not natural.. to me at least. Planets and Galaxies
and suns and moons. Gas, liquid, dirt.. all have one thing in common: They just ARE. Dirt will always be dirt,
water will always be water, gas will always be gas (yeah yeah unless it's condensed into liquid,but think molecularly)
You can't say the same for humans... or life, for that matter. For life, as many have described and pondered it as,
allegedly exists in this vast field of tendencies, where statistics, quantum physics and tons of other factors come
into play to make, MAN, WOMAN, CHILD, GROWTH(plant and animal), LIFE AND DEATH itself. So, given we are, of all things considered,
not natural, WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE?
That's not particularly the aim of this but whatever. I had to start somewhere, and the utter
randomness of the universe seemed like a pretty damn good place to start.
So, first, there was nothing. And then in the next moment, here I am. Smack dab in the middle of some crazy fucking society
called America, residing on a tectonic plate which is part of the only known body of mass in the entire universe that contains other
weird 4 limbed partially symmetrical things called "man."
Now, these things.. "man" as we can call them, they are strange.. strange looking, strange smelling, strange sounding, strange acting.
Well, once again, to me at least; given my artistic license and ability to see a little farther outside the box than most. MAN lives in cycles. Not
circular, not repeating, but linear. Linear cycles of birth, life and death strung together like paper gingerbread cutouts
strung across the top of the window sill in your kindergarden classroom.. ah the good old days of awe and wonder. Try to re-introduce
that paradigm. Now, within this linear cycle lay stages.. kind of like the ones found on a rocket.. they only take you one way.
I guess we could, for the time being, name the stages "Infant" "Child" "Adolescent" "Adult" and "Geezer." (There IS a difference
between the last two as i'm sure we have all come to notice.. like freeways and supermarkets IE) Assuming that we don't have the brains
to think for ourselves through infancy and childhood, that would make Adolescence and (early) Adulthood probably the most difficult
for those of us who are either late blooming, or have an IQ high enough to realize that some things in this world (In American life, that is)
are rather askew when we're first introduced, or involuntarily exposed to and are expected to just learn to live with it. I don't want to
sound harsh (yes i do) but that's fucking bullshit. I mean.. for our generation at least. Friends.. when you think of these things DO NOT
despair.. for we ARE the next generation. We may be considered irrational, or..irrational, by our fore-fathers' point of view, but,
we obviously have our own issues with their way of thinking as well.. so it works both ways. Take, for example, my inability to hold a job
for more than 4 weeks at a time. Literally. In my life (all 20 years) I have held approximately 15 positions in stores ranging from
smoothie bars and the Military, to Computer stores and pizza shacks... and have recieved letters of termination from every one.
The only exception being the Military, which was considered medical, but, given the fact i'm writing such a paper as this one i would
assume you could maybe pick up the notion that it was basically by my own efforts at getting discharged. I could have stayed in, but..
if you want to get political, politics suck when it's your friends being sent to die for deceitful geezers bent over money and intricate coverups. I just can't find
my niche. My father.. a total bastard when it comes to this subject, has given me so much greif over this.. like i'm supposed
to learn a lesson or something about a life of hard work and ne'er a waivering stroke in the river crossing call life. Fuck that give me an inner
tube and i'll float wherever life takes me. The scenery is much more enjoyable when you don't have sweat in your eyes.
Few people realize this, and those who do, and learn to love life from an observors point of view are commonly and uninhibitedly scorned,
without retort. For we don't see any reason to argue with them, they just don't see the same rolling golden hills and blood red sunsets we do.
Most of us, who can see past the gold in the river bed, might even say it's an honor. Our gifts are our perceptions, our emotions, and our ability
to bring the intangeable to light. Be it in private or in group and community, we are important. -Raydon Shippey