I wake with a start, eyes flicking open and scanning around me. The room is quite light where the curtains are letting in the beams of the full moon. In the distance a fox barks, probably what woke me. I feel alone and uneasy for a moment, then my sleepy mind remembers you are with me.Your warm body next to me in our bed, your steady breathing comforts me. I raise myself up on one elbow and look down at you. Peaceful and oblivious in sleep, a little slice of death you say, but one that thankfully releases you back to me every morning. Yours arms are outside the covers; in the moonlight I see your scars, fine now, traced white against the brown of your tanned skin. Those faint lines do little to betray the trauma that was done there. Tears come to my eyes; I fight to hold them back. I always feel like crying when I think of the sadness that must have had you in its grip when you did that to yourself. Did you feel the pain? Did the physical pain help to drive out the mental pain of your sadness? Or was it to hurt the body, which you don't like? Did you cry as you cut your smooth skin, tears running as your precious blood flowed? I try and understand...grasping for answers, but unless you have been there I guess you can never know the torment which drives a person to hurt themselves. All I can do is try to make you happy, to fill your life with love and joy. To hope that sadness never finds you like that again. I know the depression will always lurk, dark and brooding, waiting to come to the foreground and claim you. All I can do is give you love, patience and caring in the hopes that it will fade again and you will feel joy at my words and touch once more. All that I am is yours; I hope it is always what you want and need. Your face is peaceful, with lids closed over your beautiful eyes, those that look at me with such love; I see my future in them. To be with you...to love you for as long as fate allows.My sweet man, my one and only love.... I smile now and lay down. I snuggle next to you, gently nuzzling your arm. You turn slightly, and though you are still asleep, you wrap your arms around me. Strong arms holding me safe, as I wish to hold you from harm. I sigh, contented and wait for sleep to come again, happy knowing you are mine, and I am yours.... and we are as one.