Joyous sorrow *WIP* by Da3dalus
Close
Hover over top left image to zoom.
Click anywhere to exit.
Members remain the original copyright holder in all their materials here at Renderosity. Use of any of their material inconsistent with the terms and conditions set forth is prohibited and is considered an infringement of the copyrights of the respective holders unless specially stated otherwise.
Description
Hi there,
I have been battling with this piece for several months now and feel as if I am not progressing at all.
Hopefully, some of you can provide me with some comments on where to take this as I am devoid of inspiration at the moment.
Thank you in advance,
Iwan
"Joyous sorrow"
An eternity has passed since laughter filled the house.
The only happiness that remains is in the inescapable passage of time.
They wait for the respite that Death promised them.
And yet, hope still remains.
Pain has become a way of life with sorrow filling all that was once good.
Darkness mirrors the blown fuses on the circuit board.
No tears are there to greet his awakening.
The cut is made.
At first, there is nothing.
The blood starts flowing,
and yet, silence
The serrated blade pierces her soft skin.
His eyes greet the vicissitudes of air with a silence
that reverberates through the dark confines of the soul.
Comments (6)
netsia
...."His eyes greet the vicissitudes of air with a silence that reverberates through the dark confines of the soul.".... and in that moment of truth, when full impact of his deed is known, a scream rips forth from his soul, his love lies dead and with her goes his hope....[this is the way I saw it, dual suicide and will he have the courage to join his love]can you tell it is a gray, cold day in KC? I can't wait to see where you take this. :)
Shadowmonkey
Id say that it needs more to it. But your start is great.
Da3dalus
Thanks for the comments. I really appreciate it. This will, in all likelihood, be my longest poem to date. Probably one of the reasons why I am battling with it. But then I suppose that is part of what makes writing poetry such a rewarding experience.
TallPockets
"Joyous sorrow". A never more true oxymoron? Excellent.
cagewench
I got the same feel from this as netsia did...looking fwd to seeing/reading more
Da3dalus
This poem is finally completed. I still do not know whether I am really satisfied with it, but I felt that I need to move on. Here is the link to the poem: http://www.renderosity.com/viewed.ez?galleryid=880724&Start=1&Artist=Da3dalus&ByArtist=Yes