Evil Genius by David Levins [midrael] There once was a man with a very simple life Who went out of his way to be oh so ordinary. Going to and fro to his dead-end job... What am I saying? This isn't the life for me! Excuse me good sir, I believe that's my seat Which I think you have taken by mistake. There is simply no sense in more discussion. I would not ignore my death ray for your sake. What is the matter? I am just a normal man. So what if I have a bit more ambition? I only want a little bit of land to call my own, And perhaps a little thing like world domination. Megalomania? Oh my, what a dreadful term. You think me a crazed lunatic, don't you? Perhaps I am a bit more extravagant than most, But I'm only looking for the things that I'm due. The world is my oyster or so I've been told, And who am I to argue with such wisdom? I'm entitled to revel in your foolish undoing With elaborate plans to relieve my boredom. My lair has seemed a bit cramped of late So I was thinking I might take an island or two. I would ask the world governments for money But really, doesn't that sound so cliche to you? Am I hearing you right? You don't like my plans? Excuse me while I cackle at your expense. No one will stop me now and certainly not you. I doubt you have faced a foe with my confidence. What's this? Escaped? How is this possible? Foiled again! I promise this day you will rue! My long monologue has led to my downfall! Is it such a crime to want my own ocean view? I'll get you next time.