I fucking hate this... And like the stupidest of fools I have to dial up to see how it is I am doing today and what you think of me I see my self all dissected, a lump of flesh parted and filleted laid open for the world to see My life has become an open book and fame is not a friend to me when I modem up to have a look at what you think of me Feelings are more than written words and you really stuck a knife in me You have expressed your thoughts so openly yet not once wrote the whole story... Simple sins and confessions the lies you've told to protect your possessions Your emotions ebbing to and fro Your emotions are running out of control You were there when I needed a friend Sometimes more than you had a right to be but you were there with bittersweet deception and this was received with lukewarm reception So I acted in a way you never expected of me I put on a mask and disguised my feelings to spare you the hurt of my dealings Hearts and logic don't always meld and my thoughts and feelings were useless Your opinions in a higher regard you held never understanding this union The mind and spirit don't always need what you think is so apparent I am not you and you are not me and I wish that I could make you see my feelings don't come and go that easily This gnawing at my heart and soul The darkest fears I've felt and borne Intuitions grown into full blown fears because of what you felt for me Manipulations of the heart and mind have caused this mistrust in what I see The heartache, pain and misery brought about by life's company... Simple sins and confessions the lies you've told to protect your possessions Your emotions ebbing to and fro Your emotions are running out of control You were there when I needed a friend Sometimes more than you had a right to be but you were there with bittersweet deception and this was received with lukewarm reception So I acted in a way you never expected of me I put on a mask and disguised my feelings to spare you the hurt of my dealings A bitter end I never wanted but the half-truths you've told are still flaunted left out in the open for all to see And you are wearing your heart on your sleeve I did what I did to bring about peace I did what I did to bring about spiritual release I always wanted our friendship to survive but it cannot if you cannot abide by the simple rules of friendship What would you do if you were in my shoes? A question I have to ask of thee Because a chance not taken is just as bad as living a life of misery My heart loves who it loves and without shame Whether right or wrong there is no one to blame My feelings for him are strong inside of me and I really have not sinned, you see NOT THAT IT'S ANYONE'S BUSINESS So I beg of you put your opinions aside Let my heart be, I have committed no crime My heart loves who it loves and without shame This is my life not just some stupid game My feelings are my feelings and I take them personally and my personal life should be lived by no one but me... my life