On Nights Like This At certain times, I find myself remembering or reverting to my younger self, and at no time is this feeling stronger than at 2am. There are certain situations that bring this feeling on: a few beers; the smell or sound of a Zippo lighter; a hot guitar solo; the sensation of silk on my back; the angle of the light cast onto my desk by the lamp; the smell (oh MAN the smell) of Jack Daniels... ...and in the space of a second I'm hurtled back through 15 years - half my life! - and on the football field again with my First Real Boyfriend, or dancing at a gig after far too much to drink but revelling in knowing that every man in the room is watching me... I feel I should be able to evoke this feeling simply, through words or pictures, but it escapes me. Perhaps because to me, an old photo of myself and a friend, arms round wrapped each others' shoulders, eyes glazed with drink and fury, would signify everything I wanted, went for and lost; but for the casual viewer would only present an image of yet another teenage piss-artist. I've slowly but regretfully come to the conclusion that it's impossible to evoke the same feelings in any other reader as in yourself - the best we can do is a kind of sloppy telepathy-by-metaphor. After all, if I said "Sounds a little 'Reel Around the Fountain'" to someone, they would either nod sagely or look at me strangely. And even if they did nod sagely, there's no guarantee they'd be looking at it in the same way that I would. I certainly wouldn't expect anyone else to have the same stupid grin whilst emoting along to "I dreamt about you last night/and I fell out of bed twice"... And the things I remember... the smell of wet leaves and grass, the sound of wind rushing past the half-opened window of a Mini, the glare of the lighting in a kebab shop at midnight... all of these things are both so widespread and so specific that the task of actually connecting with another person in any meaningful way becomes laughable. ============ This piece is incomplete, and needs some at-least-half-drunken conversation to put it right ;-) Thanks to Lynyrd Skynyrd, Iron Maiden, Primitive Instinct, Psychophile, Killing Joke, the Damned, Sisters of Mercy, RHCP and Joe Jackson for helping me revisit those times. Haven't been around too much lately so sorry for not commenting much. Thanks to all for reading and commenting on this.