Veshengo by siverly11
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Description
Based on a World of Darkness character I used to play. Enjoy!
Music blared out across the club, ricocheting off the walls and creating a storm of intolerable noise. Delphi pushed it away, far into the back of her mind. She was much too busy to be troubled with so small a distraction. She had put two weeks of effort into this one night. She couldn
Comments (2)
killer3d
It is a very torrid piece but not too bad at all. The reason that I have selected the "Needs Work" deal is because it has a few wordage jumbles and kind of over-kills a few expressive points but really... I think you have a fairly powerful hand and could refine this a little better into a very well done work.
TallPockets
"She watched the man at the bar, the blonde with the tight ass and a killer smile" -- I guess blondes do have more fun? WINK. Well written work. It seems vampires are a hot commodity these days.