I apologise in advance for this.....I know it is not the best piece of writing, but I badly needed to try and get out some of how I feel right now...sorry... I remember everything we shared. Each touch and word imprinted on my soul. My memories of you were here to keep me warm, To comfort me, when sleep seemed to elude me. I wish so very hard that I could turn back time, That I could change the way things happened, So that once more I could be in your arms, Instead of cold and alone without you. I talked to you online tonight, The faintest hope flickering that it could work. That you might recall the way things were, And want me back, the way that I want you. I realised it was hopeless very soon, You don’t hold onto anything of what we had. Alone is how you want to be now, As happy as you can ever be in your solitude. I know depression is your bedmate again now, And I can never hope to win you back from her. The time we had was all we could have, Limited by bureaucracy, that cared nothing for feelings. I left you there and travelled half way round the world, To a ‘home’ that I no longer wanted to be in. I tried to forget, tried to move on with someone else, But my feelings for you grew too strong to contain. I came to my senses at last, knew I couldn’t love another, But alas too late, and I know now that it can’t be. You’ve moved on, forgotten any good in one being two, I asked you the question though the answer I knew. I asked if you could ever want me back, The answer you gave cut my soul like a knife. Great chunks were carved from my heart, With the blade of indifference, you wielded without malice. I said goodbye to you, after letting you know my heart, That I would never stop loving you, I was yours for the taking. I shuddered as the tears started to fall when your answer appeared, “Ok” you said with no intention to hurt “Bye then” I sit here alone now, rejected, adrift and in so much pain, Heart ripped to shreds and a void where it should be. I look at the bright monitor in front of me and picture your face, Through the salty veil of my tears, which I fear may fall forever….