March 27, 2004 Dear Self, It's funny how we often get caught-up in the whirlwind of life, isn't it? It seems one day, things are going just wonderfully, and then the next, you're sent back to square one. This isn't a bad thing...it's more confusing then anything else. I don't have a problem with confusion that often, but there are times when I crave certain constants in my life. Just when I think a constant has come along, things change again. Maybe these frustrations of mine are normal. Either way, it's getting pretty damn annoying. As of today, it's Easter. I wonder how Jesus is spending his holiday? My best guess is that he's drinking some holy water on the rocks and playing cards with Elvis. Then again, maybe Jesus is more of a Scrabble type. I wouldn't know - I've never met him. As of right now, I'm sitting here at my computer desk, writing in this good old MSWord document, eating muffin-flavored cereal with no milk. Otep is blaring in the background (I ought to be ashamed of myself, listening to Otep on a religious holiday), along with the faint hum of my air conditioner, and I'm in a state of rare contentment. Today I've been focusing on the beauty of life. Even the simple things make me smile - watching two birds fly around, for example. These are the simple and yet glorious things that I often take advantage of. Then, however, there are days like today when it occurs to me that one day, I won't be around to see all these beautiful things. Sure, I'm still "only fifteen", as so many people say, and I have a lot of time left in me to explore and see the world. Of course, none of that will last forever. I have to bask in this beauty while I can...savor it. True, to most, saying those things might make me seem melancholy or pessimistic. However, there's something bittersweet about realizing all this. In my time here, how many people will I affect? How many things can I accomplish to better the world, or someplace smaller - like my own backyard? Some people would think it's silly of me to think these things so early on in life. In fact, many people would. Yet, no one said I had to care about what other people think of my thoughts. No one said, also, that I couldn't voice these thoughts. So, I leave now with these simple words before I usher myself out of my cloffice (office-closet) for the time being: Happy Easter. -Summer, age 15