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Writers F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Dec 18 6:55 am)
Must a spirit be a downer? Alien religions don't have an after-taste? The connection of spirit and religion requires belief. If you don't believe in anything, then the people who say you are nothing are correct, and that worthless lump of cells can never be, or aspire to anything else. A little knowledge leads to atheism, more leads to faith...and faith doesn't come easy.
No reason a spirit cannot be a downer, either. When I read this, I did not so much get a sense of atheism as a sense of naturist, or paganism if you'd prefer. Without getting into a religious discussion, it is certainly within the bounds of poetry and literature to question the nature of religion. And to deny that much of man made religion (as some would consider most modern day religions) has a bitter after taste, is to ignore the news of the day in many many parts of the world. I liked the first 5 lines quite a bit. The last three seemed to lack the rhythm and flow of the first 5. jon
~jon
My Blog - Mad
Utopia Writing in a new era.
I'd have to agree with tjames. The first five lines work well. It's gothic without angst. There's something jarring in the last three lines, but I can't put my finger on it. I know the poem itself is meant to be unsettling but instead of a meloncholy or bitter taste, it is simply "off." Sorry I can't help more, but I like the set-up on the poem a lot.
Faith is not hard to come by, nor is religion faith encumbered. Religion is faith made simpler, for those without time for contemplation and the need to live the life it celebrates. We are lazy creatures as a lot, even in this. Faith is a wispy, gentle thing, stirred within as all the "higher" ideals must be. The force of cruelty and capricious chance, the weight of learning and the mockery of the devil's own advocate, these things distract us, bewitch us, bemuse us, and as we learn more and peer deeper into that well we find that they are the reflections on the water. Deeper we go into those murky depths, until, in the end, we reach that point where we began, and faith then is guarded. Hard to come by? No. For proof, ask a newborn of it's parents. Trite, perhaps, and certainly cliche -- but all cliche's exist because they are percieved to have truth within them -- otherwise the would never have been used enough to have become such... The final three lines lack the aural familiarity of the first five. The breath isn't that deep or long. A line perhaps is missing to complete it. I'm not a poet, though, and I do know it.
thou and I, my friend, can, in the most flunkey world, make, each of us, one non-flunkey, one hero, if we like: that will be two heroes to begin with. (Carlyle)
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Drink of my Spirits But Only If you can stand The taste of my despair And the after-taste Of human made Religions