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"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." ---Anton Chekhov

Subject: Cold Dark Night

Tamalynn_36 opened this issue on Feb 15, 2003 · 6 posts
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Tamalynn_36 ( ) posted Sat, 15 February 2003 at 10:50 PM · edited Mon, 25 November 2024 at 10:23 AM

Cold dark night Loss of light No more dreams Endless tears Pain so near Cold dark night Loss of love No more touch Endless ache Heart of stone Cold dark night Loss of light

meico ( ) posted Mon, 17 February 2003 at 10:03 AM

This makes me ache in sympathy with you ... succinct and bitter-sweet words.

Crescent ( ) posted Mon, 17 February 2003 at 7:10 PM

I like the repetition of Cold dark night, especially how it changes it's position within each area. I'd suggest spacing out the poem into 3 stanzas of 4 lines each so the reader has a chance to rest and capture each thought before going to the next one. Thanks for sharing this!

Crescent ( ) posted Mon, 17 February 2003 at 8:41 PM

I hope my post didn't sound brusque. I had company stop by and I got side-tracked. Cheers!

Tamalynn_36 ( ) posted Wed, 19 February 2003 at 7:11 PM

Cold dark night Loss of light No more dreams Endless tears Pain so near Cold dark night Loss of love No more touch Endless ache Heart of stone Cold dark night Loss of light

Tamalynn_36 ( ) posted Wed, 19 February 2003 at 7:14 PM

You sounded just fine and I love helping hands when needed. Thank you for taking an interest in my rantings.

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