I tried rewriting a bit. Please let me know if this is an improvement. I need a good two syllable word in the second line of the second stanza-suggestions welcome. Desert Rain They say the desert misses the rain. The barren land, so vast and still, Is no stranger to danger and death; It spreads 'neath a burning sun, Miles of rock and clinging plants; Cactus grow despite the drought Standing for a century or more Conquering the endless heat. Yet, the desert misses the rain. Cloudless skies of deepest blue Hold the fiery " " orb Scorching weary earth below. Shadows hold no cool relief For wanderers of the rugged waste. Saguaros dot the rugged slopes, Remains as from another age. Still, the desert misses the rain. Then the sky conceals her face And wrings the bloated clouds; The drab stone world returns to life: Dried twigs burst into bloom, Green invades the brown and red Softer beauty spreads o'er the land. But ever the blinding sun returns, Again to suck the landscape dry. Yes, the desert misses the rain.

How about:

Hold a constant fiery orb
Scorching the weary earth below.

Maybe: Hold a fiery fulgent orb fulgent ( P ) Pronunciation Key (fljnt, fl-) adj. Shining brilliantly; radiant: tower searchlights... as fulgent as half a billion candles (Nicholas Proffitt)

How about this: Cloudless skies of deepest blue Hold the fiery, withering orb. (Withering is often pronounced as 2 syllables instead of 3, so it might work.) A little nitpick: the Sonoran desert isn't all that barren. (That's where you find saguaros, besides Roadrunner cartoons, that is.) There's a lot of scrub brush around, and unless there's a bad drought, there's a decent amount of green. Just after it rains, there is a wider range of color but the biggest difference to me is how vibrant the colors are. Normally, everything is dusty and slightly faded, but for a short time after the rain, the true depth of the colors are revealed. As an FYI - everything is prickly. Even some of the trees have thorns. (I found that one out the hard way.) If you're interested in some pictures of the area, just let me know. Cheers!

I vote with meico for "fulgent." I didn't compare versions 1 and 2 side-by-side, but v. 2 seems to read much better. I sense the rhythm more this time. And I like "Conquering the endless heat." My favorite line is "And wrings the bloated clouds."

Thanks for the feedback. I think I'm going to stick in 'withering orb' Cres, I wrote this after visiting the Saguaro National Forest outside of Tucson, AZ. Coming from New England, it seemed rather barren even though on closer scrutiny it is teeming with life. I was there in November so most ofhte wild life was not visible. There are a variety of pale greens and it is quite beautiful. Yes, prickly is an under statement!

I hope this works. I tried to fix the background and fix the words as you had requested, but I had stored it as a jpg file. If it doesn't work just go to your room in the workshop and its on page2. http://www.zanografix.com/desert%20rain%20with%20graphic.htm

Thanks, Tjames! It looks good!