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Subject: Poetry Challenge for the Masses...


Azha ( ) posted Thu, 19 June 2003 at 3:47 PM · edited Mon, 04 November 2024 at 9:50 PM

I'm up for a Sestina, difficult but not so that it slays its takers-on like mere peasants at the gate. Historically, the Sestina is a French form. initially from the work of Arnaut Daniel, one of the troubadours in the service of French nobles--12th century, in his poemThe Firm DesireBoth french and the English translation appear as an example in the link. The Sestina is an exercise in repetition, and is comprised of 6 sestets (six-line stanzas), and an ending tercet (three-line stanza) called an envoy. Thus the sestina has 39 lines in total. The six words ending each line of the first stanza are repeated, in a different order ending the lines in each of the remaining five stanzas. The repeated words are unrhymed!!! In the envoy, which is the closing tercet (three-line stanza) each of the six words are used, with one in the middle of each line and one at the end of each line. The Pattern is as follows. Stanza 1: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Stanza 2: 6, 1, 5, 2, 4, 3 Stanza 3: 3, 6, 4, 1, 2, 5 Stanza 4: 5, 3, 2, 6, 1, 4 Stanza 5: 4, 5, 1, 3, 6, 2 Stanza 6: 2, 4, 6, 5, 3, 1 Envoi: Middle words 2, 6, 4, End words 5, 3, 1 the order of these can be varied but all six words must be used, two words in each line. You can either choose your six end words first or compose the first six line stanza freely and use its end words as a guide, which I find much easier. Either way, theSestina Generator will compile an ordered placement list of your chosen end words that you can follow for each sestet as well the envoy.

"Every line means something."
Jean Michel Basquiat


dialyn ( ) posted Thu, 19 June 2003 at 3:55 PM

Wow. Even I can't complain about the explanation on this one. And that's saying something, since I am the lowest denomination in the poetry calculation.


Charmz ( ) posted Thu, 19 June 2003 at 6:53 PM

interesting.. I think ... well maybe. This one would not be a cake walk so I think I will try it.


Kethram ( ) posted Fri, 20 June 2003 at 1:42 PM

Hmm, sounds difficult, but I think I'll try it too.


dialyn ( ) posted Fri, 20 June 2003 at 2:51 PM

I know one thing about this....be careful of which six words you pick because you're going to be stuck with them for a long time!!!


dialyn ( ) posted Fri, 20 June 2003 at 8:38 PM

Last time I fiddle with this thing, I promise. This still probably should be in the bad poetry contest. Anyway, one more try to post it correctly. Then I give up. The Courtier's Song Once upon a day in summer I remember wearing cotton and satin While she was draped in lace and silk. In her eyes, I saw no thought of sadness; On her lips, there was a shadow of a smile. Of her constant love, I was certain. Of my affection she could be certain In the heat of an afternoon in summer. Watching her walk made me smile. We held hands. Her skin was like satin. Only knowing it might end tinted the day with sadness That turned to mist staining her silk. Her dress was made of blue and pink and green silk Bright, beautiful and cheerful, its certain. Not even a shadow there forecast sadness Not even a cloud was cast this day in summer. A butterfly lit on her hand; wings of satin Fluttered and made her smile. There was longing and hope in her smile. Her words flowed softly as silk And her hair gleamed bright as satin That I was content I said I was certain On this warm, lovely day in summer I would have said anything to cast off her sadness. And what was the cause of her sadness When from one to the other of us flew a smile In the warmth of our affection and the heat of the summer, And soft touches flowed like silk Spilled from the bolt, its destiny certain To create beauty from death in colors brighter than satin. Warmer, too, than cooler satin, Ans so fragile it prophecies the sadness. Hidden in each beginning is an ending certain And there is a tear shining behind each smile. Still I remember the rustling of her silk As we strolled the last time that day in summer. That summer day colored like gold satin Faded, the sunset like silk slide away, the day into sadness. It was then she gave the last smile of which I was certain.


Azha ( ) posted Sat, 21 June 2003 at 8:28 AM

OMG Dia that is so so good, I'm gonna give a few more reads but I love your choice of end words. Way to go!!! I am so so so so proud of you, that was a challenge worth taking!

"Every line means something."
Jean Michel Basquiat


dialyn ( ) posted Sat, 21 June 2003 at 8:45 AM

One thing about this challenge...it really makes you think. I made the mistake of choosing words for the sounds they made, but, if I were to give it another go, I'd think more about including words that had multiple meanings to give the storyline more flexibility. It's a good exercise though...thank you for proposing it. I hope other people give it a try. There is freedom in structure.


Azha ( ) posted Sun, 22 June 2003 at 12:25 PM

Thats it! Freedom in structure...I like that description. I do hope others give it a try, I will post my own in a little bit. Thats the beautiful thing about learning new forms in any genre, it gives you new framework to play with and perfect. Thank you for taking the challenge.

"Every line means something."
Jean Michel Basquiat


dialyn ( ) posted Sun, 22 June 2003 at 2:38 PM

Attached Link: http://www.renderosity.com/viewed.ez?galleryid=428211&Start=1&Artist=dialyn&ByArtist=Yes

I got so into this poem, I even made a graphic to go with it. :) See what you started???


Azha ( ) posted Wed, 25 June 2003 at 11:27 AM

So weird, I'm not sure if this means that you are a really good writer or that I am a really good reader...LOL Probably alot of both but the image was very very similar to the one my mind conjured up while reading the poem.

"Every line means something."
Jean Michel Basquiat


dialyn ( ) posted Wed, 25 June 2003 at 11:41 AM

Here's the really weird thing...I had no idea what I was going to write about until I picked the six words. Then, suddenly, with the first line, it was very clear to me. That's what I love about writing...something out of nothing in a moment. :) It was an interesting challenge...I enjoyed it very much.


mysteri ( ) posted Wed, 25 June 2003 at 9:44 PM

dialyn: Very impressive, both the sestina and the graphic. Are you a very analytical thinker? I think you're probably a lot better at this stuff than you claim to be, but in a more structured way than a lot of modern poets. You hearken back to the classics, I think.


dialyn ( ) posted Wed, 25 June 2003 at 10:09 PM

LOL...analytical would probably not describe me. Random chance has it that perhaps once in a great while I hit the right note...but only after a score of wrong ones. :) But thank you for the compliment. It's rare for me to get any in the arena of poetry. I think I'll rest on my blushing laurels now.


tien_avielle ( ) posted Thu, 03 July 2003 at 5:35 PM

Leaders spout out an edict,
tightening the weave of their designed fabric.
Blind minds cannot see the hypocrite,
nor sense the evil given birth
by the fairy tale stories covering lies.
Unwitnessed is morality's death!

Innocence and ignorance succumb in muted death,
as dictators delight in pronouncing their latest edict -
softening the blow with sugar-coated lies;
warping to their whims the moment's fabric,
as their greed and power-hunger give birth
to the apocalyptic dreams of the hypocrite.

With forked tongue dines the hypocrite!
Destiny usurped by manipulated death,
while hidden goals receive an evil birth.
"This is how it shall be!" decries the edict.
Pulling of strings so warps the fabric!
In a twisted web, reality lies.

Ask them no questions and they'll tell us no lies;
"Do as we say, not as we do,"whispers the hypocrite.
Shut your eyes to the frayed and twisted ends of our fabric!
Perhaps they are making a shroud for our death.
Blind obedience to the edict -
Free thought buried like after-birth!

Were we all born blind at birth?
Are none capable of discerning lies?
Is their no ungovernable soul to question an edict
and challenge the behavior of the tyrannical hypocrite?
If this be so, we do deserve unmartyred death!
If this be so, we are naught but the fray of life's fabric!

Mother, bring forth your belligerent child to tear this vile fabric!
To new ideas and higher ideals, I pray ye, give birth!
Do not watch your children die this silent death,
that came from being nurtured with lies!
Pray, let them challenge the hypocrite!
Let them not meekly bow to the dictator's edict!

Unchallenged, dogma and edict warp life's fabric,
The hypocrite thrives by controlling free-thought's birth!
At the end of a path of blindness lies only a living death.


dialyn ( ) posted Thu, 03 July 2003 at 6:58 PM

All right, tien_avielle! You brought an old form into the modern age. Thank you for joining in! I was feeling a little lonely on this thread. :)


tien_avielle ( ) posted Thu, 03 July 2003 at 7:13 PM

Dear Dialyn - This was challenging, indeed! I'd have given up, if not for the link to the organizer (sestina generator), lol! The hard part was not changing my words half-way through! I used the first six that popped into my head and decided to deal with them. Perhaps it would be fun if you gave us your six favorite words, and we all had to create using them? I have always avoided structures - I truly do need motivation and practice in this area! Thanks for providing the opportunity. ~Tien


dialyn ( ) posted Thu, 03 July 2003 at 7:17 PM

I know what you mean...I was very tired of the six words I chose by the time I got to the end. I think we learn something when we try something hard like this. I'm not a poet so this one was a particular struggle for me. Still and all, I'm glad I tried. And I'm glad you did too. :)


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