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Subject: OT...... For those who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!


Swade ( ) posted Mon, 22 March 2004 at 7:23 PM · edited Wed, 05 February 2025 at 1:51 AM

For all you who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon". In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics" (and I just love this part): 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. 7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. Hope this gave you a chuckle or 2. Wade

There are 10 kinds of people: Those who know binary, and those who don't. 

A whiner is about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.


sackrat ( ) posted Mon, 22 March 2004 at 10:16 PM

I don't get it,........my car does do all that stuff,....it's a 2004 Microsoft Pyrrus.

"Any club that would have me as a member is probably not worth joining" -Groucho Marx


Slakker ( ) posted Mon, 22 March 2004 at 11:35 PM

Lol. On the same off-topic: "Imagine if everything worked like computers. Imagine if you went to tie your shoes, and you didn't do it quite the same way as the last time, they just blew up. People would be outraged, and yet for some reason with Microsoft everyone seems to accept this."


woodhurst ( ) posted Tue, 23 March 2004 at 1:09 AM

hahahaha, windows user here, but its the truth. thanks for the laugh:)


diolma ( ) posted Tue, 23 March 2004 at 8:29 AM

"A Computer: A machine for making mistakes very quickly indeed" LOL, Diolma



bigbadelf ( ) posted Tue, 23 March 2004 at 10:15 AM

Computers: We've finally created something smart enough to completely distract us from ourselves.


Damia ( ) posted Tue, 23 March 2004 at 1:24 PM

That is too funny! I am not a techy so I use what I know which is Windows. @Bigbadelf - Too true. ;)

~Damia~ LeviathanPhotography


Rayraz ( ) posted Tue, 23 March 2004 at 4:19 PM

ROTFLMAO!!! hahaa!! this is great!!

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catlin_mc ( ) posted Wed, 24 March 2004 at 6:05 AM

Every word of it is the truth, and all Windoze users will agree. The only sot of good thing since I started using XP is that you no longer get the "Blue Screen Of Death", but I miss it. boohoo lol 8) Catlin


catlin_mc ( ) posted Wed, 24 March 2004 at 6:06 AM

sot = sort 8)


Gog ( ) posted Wed, 24 March 2004 at 6:12 AM

I have a BSOD screen saver running on one of my Linux boxes, displays various error screens from windoze, Mac, Beos etc. Always catches people out :-)

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Toolset: Blender, GIMP, Indigo Render, LuxRender, TopMod, Knotplot, Ivy Gen, Plant Studio.


catlin_mc ( ) posted Wed, 24 March 2004 at 4:47 PM

I used to know a guy who had the very same screen saver, and his was on a unix machine. 8)


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