Attached Link: http://www.renderosity.com/messages.ez?Form.ShowMessage=1941029

That's funny.... we call it life-savers (in our dialect, of course)... lol Cool it bud... I've mentioned it before... double standards.... And around here, I see it too often.

Sadly, I can't "cool" it. Wasn't raised that well. But thanks for the advice ;)

Can't blame you... I didn't get to see the original post but seems to me it got something to do with TIT-tilating product or freebie? And I always thought forums such as these are open to discuss things- keeping an open mind to the issues brought about.

There was a discussion about that subject that was the cause of anger, but that in and of itself is not the point. It's just the thing everyone is focussing on instead of the larger issue I'm trying to point out. And, what's worse, is that the admin is helping! lol

I am now very confused. Could someone please bring me into the loop, or should I just sit back and enjoy the lovely fuzzy feelings of "whaaaa?" RC

It's complaint-based enforcement, so it might seem sporadic or unfair, but they are not trying to offend anyone or deal unfairly with anyone. They aspire to be 100% unbiased and even-handed, but that's an ideal, not a reality, regardless of who you are.

You'll look back on this in a few weeks and laugh about how you could get so angry over the use of derogatory terms like watermelons, winnebagos, stax or jugs. A good sense of humor (and some tolerance for the shortcomings of others) may help a great deal. If Don Quixote had either, then maybe Cervantes wouldn't have been forced to write his novel about it.

Just made a post in a few places: Product showcase, Community Center, The link above, and the den, explaining the particulars. I'm off to a meeting with some old newspaper friends (unrelated), and then I'll be hanging out at the place where thoughtfulness and consideration are foremost, instead of something that needs a profit motive behind it. Which is not to say I'm leaving. Just that I'm gonna go cool my jets for a bit, lol

doggone it! It's NOT about the name! lol It's about how they treated the people that complained!!!

I think I understand. Sort of. I just found the Community Center post. I am, frankly, a little bemused by what I think is going on. I think some space and perspective will help, ynsaen, if only to give you time to chart your approach. :) RC

I'm seeing a greater and greater number of threads that start with something like;

"This in more about the guy I told you about, and the person that didn't tell me he told me that shouldn't have told the Admin I said the thing I didn't. I'm so upset! Why does this keep happening!"

If you are going to dredge up a thread or an argument, or, hey, if you have an interesting thread you want to share that happens to be on some other membership-only site, please SYNOPSIZE. Consider it a courtesy to the rest of us.

Message edited on: 09/25/2004 14:10

No muse -- truthfully, I would love to -- unfortunately, wehn I was going to provide the thread as an example, I had to break TOS -- and they kindly deleted it within about, oh, 30 seconds. Seek out my other posts -- I've done the best I can without actively breaking TOS

Lillian, By chance, did you happen to actually read what I wrote, or are you doing what so many others have done and read what you might like to see? Your entire post has, essentially, nothing to do witht eh specific issues I have, whatsoever. If you read it, you will note I don't actually have a particular concern about the use of the word. Which is a fancy way of saying I don't care what the damned thing is called. 1.) The denigrating term was not offensive to them, allowing anyone to thereby use said term to denigrate other women within the site since it is not officially an offensive phrase under TOS. Since there is no specific list of terms given, one can potentially expect that with a possible solitary exception, any term which denigrates women is acceptable and allowed within Renderosity TOS. 2.) Acted in a manner which was insensitive, dismissive, and condescending towards the individuals and the concrns expressed regarding this denigrating term. ONE is to indicate that in your decision, however general it may be, you have, since it becomes policy, you have now essentially made it entirely possible for anyone to call anyone else in this place "Juggs" -- and not receive a TOS violation for it. By extension, there are several other terms which may or may not be offensive to a greater majority of your customer and merchant base that can now be used, again without risk of violating TOS, creating a potentially hostile environment to women. TWO is precisely what you, in your, your, your amazingly inept manner have just done by utterly ignoring, misinterpreting, and flat out attempting to twist what I have said into something about something that it is NOT about. What I am having a hissy fit about (that I was pretty damned chilled out about right up until I read this) was the manner in which the people who did express their concerns were addressed and treated. ANd now I'm pissed off about it all over again, because this is exactly what I am talking about! Look at the tone and the demeanor of the sentences you just wrote! Look at the manner of expression! And now, oh boy, now let me dive in to what You did say and pick the shit out of it... "If we had found this to be offensive to more than a few competing merchants, or any complaints from members, we would have taken action to have the name changed. This was simply not the case." A - In the two threads combined, there were 17 female merchants who specifically had a problem with it -- and of them, none makes figures which possess exaggerated traits. B - How the heck are you going to get member complaints when members can't even see the threads? Well gee, there goes that one -- none of the folks with a cow are competing, and members at large can't se the thread. Obviously you didn't research it effectively. That or you lied. "I do understand that a few people, for whatever reasons, may be sensitive with regards to particular terms or phrases. We apologize if you were upset by another merchants use of such a word." Lillian, I've read your posts here several times on other occasion, I believe that you do understand that. I also believe you didn't pay a damn bit of attention to what I said becuase if you had, you'd note that you don't need to apologize to me. You need to apologize to the merchants you treated badly. "We apologize if you were upset when the action you desired was not taken. No offense was intended nor implied. Simply was a statement of the facts and the decision." Lillian, I didn't give a damn about the action being taken regarding the decision. Again, perhaps if you'd read what I said you may have understood this. So to twist this into somethign that I wanted, when I wasn't the one making the request in the first place is a bit bothersome. Somewhat reminiscent of, well, now that I think about it, what got me all pissed off in the first place. Gee -- funny, ain't it? "Why force censorship upon a fellow merchant when a majority of people do not see a need to do so?" Oh, so now I'm suddenly a censor? Damn -- and I didn't even ask for the name to be changed. Once again, you didn't read. ONce again, you are dismissive. Once again, you deomnstrate a need for some sort of serious sensitivity training within your company for there's something very wrong here, and it isn't me. "What was lacking was respect from the few merchants that didn't like the word, to accept that there are many other merchants (including many women) that have a difference of opinion. Also missing was a lack of respect for following the rules of the merchant forum." Not a few merchants, one merchant, Lillian. One who was fed up, and was becoming more and more aggravated by the condescension, dismissiveness, and failure to pay attention to what was being said by the administration of this site. Damn but I'm seeing a trend here. On the second one, I had full respect for the rules. I even told you I was going to do it. Twice. And then I did, knowing full well what the consequences would be. It's something akin to civil disobedience, not respect, Lillian. "I admire that you are standing up for your convictions. However, I think there are more positive ways to go about standing up for what you believe in. Ways that also respect the opinions of others." Thank you. I believe we should all stand up for what we believe in. However, I am willing to take suggestions for a method more positive than the one I have chosen. Perhaps I should have written an article to accompany the sending of the thread the newspapers? Is that it in particular? And I find it wholly laughable that you would infer that I'm the one devaluing the opinons of others when it is that same action on the part of renderosity that spurred my activities the past two days. That is an insult, ma'am. And I do not forget them, and I do not forgive them. and lastly but certainly not least: "I hope this helps to clarify the issue just a bit." Were you laughing loudly when you said that one? Were you and your compatriots giigling as that line was typed? becuase you are not a fool and you are not that thick headed, and that one is just, oh, oh, man did you piss me off.

Attached Link: http://www.renderosity.com/messages.ez?ForumID=12357&Form.ShowMessage=1941926&Reply=1942220