A new NASTY email virus If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only area code 900 numbers. This virus is so bad, it will even mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone!!! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!!! I thought I'd give you a heads-up. http://support-antivirus.web.cern.ch/support-antivirus/

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!!! ...ever heard of Cybersex...? Wonderful thing: Keeps diseases, relationship problems and unwanted pregnancies away... Plus, if it's boring, you can turn the monitor off without ever having to sleep on the sofa for doing so ;-)

but the sticky keyboards!

sounds like a descriptions of my husband

Well if it has subspace field harmonics in it, I bet it can even dissolve your DNA to make you sterile, change the orbits of the comets in the Oort Cloud so that they're on a collision course with the Earth and send signals to other galaxies declaring war on more advanced civilizations so that they send ships here to destroy us.

My whole neighbourhood got hit by this virus! Beware, it travels through cell phones and also spreads through Reality TV shows making both women and men into braindead stepford soap opera clonings. Luckily for me someone told me a cure. Turn off your computer,tv and cell phone for twenty four hours and go out.

or, better yet, get rid of winders. when you don't have windows frying brain cells constantly you grow a natural immunity to these things.

ROFLMAO! Thanks for giving me a good start to the day!

That explains a lot actually... :) LMAO