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"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." ---Anton Chekhov

Subject: Indian Summer

Olenkamajka opened this issue on Jan 31, 2005 · 3 posts
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Olenkamajka ( ) posted Mon, 31 January 2005 at 1:34 AM · edited Sun, 02 February 2025 at 4:59 PM

, July 6. 2003 -- [ Indian Summer ] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sophir of sky with golden, sunny rays, a pinch of breeze, a pinch of haze, permit of join, sacrament of days, silkness of green meadows, communion of fog's lace. The birds morning whisper, fresh air is meadow-sweet, cool ocean's water begs to bare feet, wrapped in the rainbow beauty and serenity of Indian Summer, its indentity. Of meadows and forests a colorfull rain, Indian Summer is ending, my soul is in pain. Copyright by Olenkamajka Edmonton, Canada

tjames ( ) posted Sat, 05 February 2005 at 4:04 AM

Its so close as I read through it I had to backtrack over certain phrases. Sometimes the use of parallel constuction can improve the flow. Don't count meter so hard.

Olenkamajka ( ) posted Sun, 06 February 2005 at 9:41 PM

Tkank you for your advise, maybe my enaglish after writing poems will be better

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