How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesnt grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to put your two cents in... but its only a penny for your thoughts? Wheres that extra penny going to? Once youre in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but youre ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? Theyre going to see you naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why is bra singular and panties plural? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think Ill squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out! Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? When your photo is taken for your drivers license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligans Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why cant he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but dont point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? Theyre both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didnt he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Dont you just love them. LOL.

Some of those make me smile! Thanks :^D

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think Ill squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out! I can just imagine when that happened. Some cave men creeping up on a cow. Hey Mongo you go squeeze those dangly things I double dare you.

I'm still trying to figure why they sell hotdogs in packs of 10, but the buns in packs of 8..;)

@Dann-o Caveman copied calves, they saw them grow fast and wanted the same thing!! LOL

Fantastic. I got one.... Who was the first person to look at a raw oyster and think Yum, I'm gonna eat that?

And... why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway -- Dave Mikulec chronic lurker

Why do racing crews chiefs always tell you the race will be won by the crew with the best pit stop strategy. In other words, how well they PARK.

LOL...why do men have nipples?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan? Where is the cat in the catwalk? If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? Why does your nose run, and your feet smell? What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? If you had amnesia and then were cured, would you remember that you forgot? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? Why is the word abbreviation so long? Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny? Do hyenas laugh even when they are being killed? Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? You know when you are driving and you notice one shoe on the road... whatever happened to the other shoe? Why do we press harder on remote control buttons when we know the battery is dead? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? When you have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, does the guy inside the costume smile for the camera? "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? If a member of a synchronized swimming team drowns, do the rest also drown? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? Why do sky divers wear helmets ? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? How can there be self-help groups? If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure? Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? When sign-makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? How does the VCR clock work anyway? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? How many times do you use a disposable razor? Why do banks charge you an 'insufficient funds' fee for money they already know you don't have? If a cow laughed, would milk come out of his nose? If our knees bent the other way, what would a chair look like? If you are refinishing a table, shouldn't you have to restart? If you have 24 odds and ends on a table, and 23 fall off, what do you have left, an odd or an end? If you are cross-eyed and dyslexic at the same time, would you see okay? If your in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on? When a crash-test-dummy hits his head, and no engineers record the results, does he make a sound? When it rains, the sky is completely covered in clouds. How does the rain get through? Where can you buy those little plastic ends to put on your shoe laces? Why are there floatation device under plane seats, instead of parachutes? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM? Why does sour cream have a use-by date? Why does the door bell ring just after you've stepped out of the shower? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called a cargo? Why is there always one in every crowd? If you took all the ones in every crowd and put them in another crowd, will there be one in that crowd? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why do we tend to raise our shoulders when we're out in the rain? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, You turn down the volume of the radio? Why is it that you see this written on car seat belts:? This seat belt does not offer any protection if it is not buckled up? Why is it that international magazines that advertise products will have the same description of something in different languages, but the description of each language is written in english? Who's that supposed to benefit? Why do they print "serving suggestion" next to the picture of a product on its label? Why do they print warning labels telling you not to eat poisonous substances when there isn't a "serving suggestion" on the label? Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines? How did a fool and his money get together? How do they get a deer to cross at the yellow road sign? Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes? What was the best thing before sliced bread? How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? What is the speed of dark? How come you never hear about gruntled employees? What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays? Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away? Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there? Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID? I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. I live on a one-way dead-end street. Makes sense ? It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills? What would happen if there were no hypothetical questions?

why are there duplicates in the post above?..;)
If you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room, what would happen?
I swear we're wandering into Steven Wright territory here (whatever happened to that guy, outside of bit parts in movies?..;)

dunno, I tried to get most of the duplicates out. I copied it off a site :-P

a while back there was a whole slew of similar questions in a thread, none of which are here. There must be a lot of things to ponder.

Message edited on: 02/27/2006 13:11