The Technologically Challenged
    
  
Just in case you think YOU are TC (technologically challenged), there's
still hope:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
      Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key
      is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
      was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to
      be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
      that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old
      (5-1/4") diskettes.  After troubleshooting for magnets and heat
      failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer
      had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the typewriter
      to type the labels.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
      diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
      with photocopies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
      back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to
      hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and going
      across the room to close the door.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
      to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
      discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it
      in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
      longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and
      water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
      and washing them individually.

8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
      because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid".  The
      tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
      responses shouldn't be taken personally.

9. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.
      He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find
      printer."  The user had even tried turning the computer screen to
      face the printer - but his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

10.An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
   her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
   plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed
   the power button.  Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot
   pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
   mouse!

11.Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
   brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit,
   plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to
   happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch,
   she asked "What power switch?"

12.True story from a Novell NetWire  SysOp:
   Caller: "Hello, is this  Tech Support?"
   Tech:   "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
   Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
            warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
   Tech:   "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
   Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
   Tech:   "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.
            Did you receive this as part of a promotion, at a trade show?
            How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark
            on it?"
   Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
            promotion.  It just has '4X' on it."
   At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he
   couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been
   using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and
   snapped it off the drive.

13.Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang
   for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to
   put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk, but I
   squeezed it in.  When it said to put in the third disk - I couldn't
   even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2"
   meant to remove Disk 1 first.

lol

LMAO.....thats so funny, but these are true. My son is a computer tech and gets all sorts of weird stories from....he calls them Nubes.......

Well, if I understood any of the techno stuff.. I am certain I would giggle :-) Thanks for smiles dear David.. "It's the way ye tell 'em" Hugs. Di. xx

yep lollllllllllll fred, it's so true !!!!!!!!!

i'm managing a helpdesk team, and one day i was on the phone, and it has been like this :
(it was a prob with installing a printer)

caller : the computer said 'done', what do i do ?
me : please close the window and restart the computer
caller : yes ok !

...... so i didn't hear him anymore, but a big 'BING!'... and i come back to the phone telling me :

"you were right, there was a lot of wind here ! it's better now. so i restart the computer now"

at this point, i mute my phone and transfer it to a colleague. I was going in another piece find my breath lolllllllllllllllllll

... i have many more lol

OMG!!! The best one is about that guy who turn the screen in order to let the PC to see the Printer! It is so hard to believe things like this actually happen!

I used to do installations and training for a while. It included getting everything up and running and giving an overview of the software, then returning a week later for a more in-depth training session when they knew their way around. So I return to this particular site to be informed by the customer almost straight away that the mouse was very difficult to use. He is sitting at the desk so I reach across, turn the mouse towards me and it seems to work fine when I use it. So bear in mind he had the initial overview including a few exercises I talked him through a week ago, and he has just seen me use the mouse. I ask him to show me what he found difficult, thinking it might a specific task he was attempting. He takes the mouse back, turns it away from him, holding it with his fingertips at the button end!!! Over the last week he has learned to move the mouse right when he wants the cursor to go left, and up when he wants to go down and vice versa!!!

They're great, I work in IT and we tend to use the term BCAK error - the error is somewhere Between Chair And Keyboard..... (a little cruel but we have a 'wide range of user ability').

Another famous call in IT circles....

Caller:   'Hi I was typing on my computer when everything went black, all my work disappeared'
Tech:      'Ok, did you accidently hit any switches?'
Caller:   'I don't think so'
Tech:   'Is the indicator light on the front of the monitor on?'
Caller:  'No it's dark'
Tech:   'Ok, can you check that the leads are still plugged in to the back of monitor?'
Caller:   Customer checks 'yes they're still in'
Tech:   'Ok can you check that the monitor power lead is connected to the computer or the mains'
Some shuffling noises Caller:  'Well I can't really tell, I can't see them'
Tech:   'why can't you see them?'
Caller:   'because of the power cut - the lights are out'
Tech:   'Ahhh!, ok, do you still have the boxes the PC came in?'
Caller:   'Yes'
Tech:   'Can you pack it all up and take it back to the shop you bought it from?
Caller:   ' Yes, is it that bad? what do I tell them when I get there?'
Tech:   'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.'