Can you imagine yourself as the nun that is sitting at her desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and

maintain her composure!
 

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING.  IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS!  IT COMES FROM A

CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.  KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS.  THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE

WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1.  IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

1. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

2. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

3. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

4. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

5. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7.  MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA ! WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS .

1. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT.  AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

2. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10.THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

1. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

2. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

3. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR.  HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

4. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES. 

5. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA. 

6. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

7. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

8. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

9. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT

ALONE.

1. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

2. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

3. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

4. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24 ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

1. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE.  THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

ROFLMAO!!  OMG I can't stop laughing..thanks for sharing..this is great!       :m_laugh:

ROFLMAO! Brilliant!

I like number 3 the best ! !

:lol: This is funny but not as funny as what I heard on the news this morning... Seems the Pope has been nipping the sacramental wine a bit too much lately and came up with additional deadly sins... One of which is to be excessive wealthy... Ahhh!!! Go figure that one out. ROTFLMAO!

ROTFLMAO! 

I thought #3 was the funniest too.

Well this is definately going to my mennonite friend's mailing list right away...thanx for posting.. ...

Bobby, I hope he or she has a well developed sense of humor ! ! !

"What do you mean by 'RAM DISK is not an installation procedure' 

I had to comment as I just formatted a 40g hard drive using the old dos method:
first change the primary boot drive to floppy and the secondary boot to the new hd in your bios. exit saving changes - you use a w98 (or better) boot disk to boot then Fdisk (it will partition your unformatted disk and call it drive c: then Control-Alt-Delete to reboot leaving the booter upper in the floppy drive.  the format command will be on a ramdrive it calls d: format to fat32 when done reboot to bios and change the boot choices back. save and exit removing the booter from the floppy. when back in good old xp format the new drive to ntfs. so you see it is an installation procedure; sort of - kinda - well almost.  

Heh heh heh...yes I have a fairly well evolved sense o humour...that quote was from a friend who had some one who's computer he was reparing actually say that to him. They thought it called for physical action 'ramming the disk'....LOL..figered it was a cute tag line for my sig.. ...

LOL , well, now that you explain it ... !! Heh-heh !