Marble! Marble, marble, marble. Put a chisel to marble, and what do you get? A stature of a nude person, that’s what. Sure, some people use marble to make fireplaces, or columns or gravestones, but when a sculptor gets a ten-ton block of pristine white marble, we all know what he’s going to do with it. I for one have never gone to a town square and seen a nice big fountain of a fruit bowl. Nobody makes sculptures of a field of flowers. Marble is all about sex.

You can’t go to a garden these days without finding it full of marble statues of people in the buff. Who can take marble seriously when sex dominates the medium? All of the professional artists I know use oil. It is more versatile, and you get color with it. None of them would be caught dead with a big block of marble in their studios. Sure, we all used it once, but we have matured.

Okay, marble has a niche for people who just can’t handle a brush, but the high-end studios can do better.

LDV

Leo, Leo, Leo. Must you get onto this old horse in every thread on every forum? I respect your art, but you are dead wrong about marble. It is as serious a medium for artists as oil and canvas. Sculpture is art you can feel, not just see. I know a hammer might be a bit hard for a man of your age to swing, but marble comes in small blocks too (wink). Go ahead, you know you really want to use some.

If you’re so against marble, what are you doing wandering around in gardens anyway? Looking at the flowers? Come on old man, you go to gardens for the same reasons we all do, and it isn’t to smell the roses.

T&A sells art, it always has. Admit it. I’ve been in galleries. I‘ve seen the pictures your professional friends paint. There’s plenty of nudity there I can tell you. Don’t pretend that those guys are a bunch of pious prudes. For the right price, they’ll cover a canvas with a bunch of cavorting nymphs and never blush to cash the check. Those hacks will carve a block of marble into a twisted mass of limbs and naughty bits at the drop of a bag of gold.

And who lay on his back for years to paint that ceiling. I know how to use a brush so don’t be condescending. My talent is evident whether I paint or sculpt.

MA

Everyone knows how you twist things around Mikey. So don’t try it here. And don’t talk to me about talent. Painting ceilings is about like using those big crayons they give kids because children don’t have the motor skills to use fine brushes. From your usual subject matter it also doesn’t surprise me that you practice your art while lying on your back. You almost caused the Pope to collapse with apoplexy when he found out what you intended to paint on God.

When was the last time people stood around and admired the smile on one of your statues for centuries? When folks look at your statues, it isn’t the smiles that catch their eyes.  And what is with those hands? Nobody has hands that big. I don’t care what you say, claiming that guy isn’t naked because he is clothed with the armor of God doesn’t make it so, and it doesn’t make it art. I’ve studied anatomy, and I will be glad to give you lessons on proportion. Incidentally, if you will turn on limits and use IK, the figures in your relief sculptures won’t look like Gumby twisted into impossible poses.

You can knock the arms, wings and even heads off statues, and you are still left with boobs and big butts. It wouldn’t surprise me if the sculptors did it on purpose because as you state so often it is the T&A or the D&B that really sales anyway.

Nobody says you don’t have talent Mikey, least of all you. I just think you can do better than marble.

LDV

Well, it’s interesting to know that you have looked, shall we say, so closely at my work. Tell me, did you even check to see what expressions I carved on the faces of my statues? Just because there isn’t anything else in your paintings to look at but the smiles doesn’t make your work art, Dude.

I don’t need you to show me around a body Leo. At least the bodies I have explored have all been alive. You have your style and I have mine. We can let posterity decide who is the better artist and who will be remembered centuries form now. In the mean time, you might try pushing the limits of your art, if you want it to be really interesting. Show some imagination man, or at least some skin.

MA

:lol:

That's really clever and witty.  Good stuff Ikendall, did you write it or transplant it from somewhere?

3/28/08

My first degree was in English Literature. I wrote it myself.

LMK

Very well done :)

hah, that made me laugh, very clever

That's great. Very amusing. Of course I'm getting scolded by my 4 year old son for laughing while he's trying to sleep on the couch.  (I told him if I'm making too much noise h can go back to his bed.)

Of course I can hear Cro magnon man saying; "No you're both wrong. True are must be done the traditional way with a burn stick on a cave wall."

I thought MA should be MB? Wasn't his name Michelangelo Bunoarroti? You've made a mockery of the whole renaissance period and shown your blatant ignorance to fine art with this crass and simplistic error!

Beyond that trivial mistake, though, you made me giggle like a small child for several minutes. :P

JonTheCelt

cackle
:m_laugh:

That was fun. Good thing Rodin wasnt lurking in the forum at the time... :)

"Marble! Marble, marble, marble."

Reminds me of the last words uttered by Colin Baker as the television Dr. Who (he later appeared in audio versions.)

"Carrot juice carrot juice carrot juice!"

Rofl, that's awesome!

Weren't Van Gogh's contemopraries telling him "That's not art?"

Now THAT was a great read! Seems like someone lost his marbles. Thanks for the laughs!

And the argument still continues to this day!!!!  Great read. 

great stuff Ikendall!!

love how it reads like the forum arguments, just needs that young upstart Raphael to come wading in now.