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Subject: New song


s_roby1990 ( ) posted Thu, 14 May 2009 at 5:51 AM · edited Fri, 15 November 2024 at 12:31 PM

I haven't posted anything for a while but I finnaly wrote a new song and I would like to hear some feedback on it :) ... Any type of coments are welcome. I wrote this song for a girl I started falling in love with that lives far from me and soon she will be leaving... Ohh and english is not my first language so please feel free to correct my spelling.

A day for you and I

In our moments together I felt more alive
Since the night that I saw you my soul came to life
The smell of sweet jasmine reminds me of you
Getting lost in your eyes didn't know what to do

Since that night we first kissed i've been thinking a lot
Knowing soon you'll be gone, I'll be here while you're not
Put on foot in heaven beginning to pray
I'd turn back the clock, how I wish you could stay

chorus:
It's never a game but it's never quite real
There's no one to blame for the wounds that won't heal
And time keeps on mooving, the distance is growing
I'll never again have you here by my side
Will there ever again be a day for you and I ?

Is it to late to give you my heart
When thousands of miles will keep us appart?
If you ever feel lonely, if you ever feel sad
Just smile and remember the good times we had

Remember the sunrise we first saw together
The cold night before how we waited forever
But that's all behind us, the future's our friend
I'll allways keep hoping that this is not the end.


LovelyPoetess ( ) posted Fri, 15 May 2009 at 8:03 PM

Lucky girl to have someone write songs about her!   : ) 

The only misspelling I noticed was the word "appart" which should have only one p.

Nice work, keep on writing.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...

So where do they go when a photograph leaves you speechless? 


mamabobbijo ( ) posted Mon, 25 May 2009 at 7:17 PM

I'd love to hear it with music, maybe that's an application the guys at the top can look into for the future. Oh I wouldn't want to hear it if I didn't like the words. It is really quite lovely.

Spelling: onE not on, foot in heaven
Mooving has only one o
Appart has onlt one p

Pretty great use of a second language, I have more trouble than that and I only speak English!


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