Sorry about it being Laugh TIme so soon again, but this reminded me of me ( and I am not the girl or the trainer)

An old guy … (ok, a guy my age and not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing.

He asked the trainer that was nearby, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet young thing over there?"

 The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I'd try the ATM in the lobby"

Har Har Har....Ouch! Don't make me laugh! I just had surgery!

:lol: good one :)

Not so long ago I went to gym and the one of the toilets was out of order. Someone had hung a notice on it that said: "This equipment is out of order. Please ask an instructor for an alternative exercise."

A little boy is staying with his grandparents for a few days and one day, while grandpa is trying to do some gardening, the little boy is making a pest of himself.  Frustrated, grandpa says to the little boy, "If you can get this worm back into his hole I'll give you £5".  That's about $10 to you Murricans.

Anyhow, the little boy tries to get the worm back into a hole in the ground without success for about 10 minutes.  Grandpa is happy because he can get on without being pestered but to his surprise, the little boy walks off into the house.  He runs back out a few minutes later with a can of spray starch.  He picks up the worm, sprays it until it's rigid, then pops it straight into the hole.

Next day, grandpa says to the little boy "Here's the £5 I promised you... and here's £20 from your grandma".

Thanks for the tip ST. Cheaper then Viagra and safer too! :m_wink:

Bill: I think my wife is dead

John: Why do you think that?

Bill: Well the sex is the same, but the laundry is starting to pile up

There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."