*The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
*Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
*Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
*Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
*Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
*For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
*Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
*Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
*A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
*At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
*Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
*Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
*Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
*The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
*Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
*The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
*evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the *Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
*Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
*The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
*Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
*The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
*Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
*The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

I've seen these before but laughed at them all over again. Thanks for posting them, skiwillgee.

LOL!
Great ones! :-D
Thanks for the laughs!

Corrie

:lol:

LMAO! Loved them Willie.

If that's all one church the seriously need a proof reader...laffin my ass off as well here.....