When I try to to do simple things like bend her thigh, it goes out of proportion (and yes IK is turned off).

Anyone know what is going on?

Which icon is highlighted in the Editing Tools panel? If you can, include a screencap.

I tried it with every icon starting with the arrow. It seems to be behaving as though Inverse K are on when they are unchecked

If you are going to manipulate body parts directly in the scene I suggest you click the Direct Manipulation Icon in the Editing Tools panel. It will show 3 global bands and 6 arrows. Click on the body part, hold down the shift key to isolate that body part, and use the mouse to orient the movement. Illustration below:

I do know if this particular Direct Manipulation feature is used and IK is active on the feet, or the hands, they will remain anchored if you try to manipulate other body parts along the chain. If your character is clothed, make sure that the clothing is conforming and is conformed to the figure so that it will follow the body part when bent. Again, select the figure body part, not the clothing, and hold down the shift key to lock on the target part. Otherwise, your only alternative is to use the dials in the Properties panel. Hopefully, this gives you a better insight into posing figures.