Before I begin this, let me just say that I am not posting this here for any sympathy or attentive gains, this kind of attention I could well do without. A long time ago I created a username and joined these forums, that name was RadArt. With all intentions noble this was supposed to be a grand beginning, and it was....but somewhere's along my path of forum continuance I had some difficulties overcome me. These problems very quickly became more and more profound and eventually my name and I became wrapped and consumed by a continuous contraversy of tentacles I could not and would not let go of....in fact I almost embraced them in some rediculous, self destructive crusade that would eventually lead this identity to become a martyr, a clown, an assortment of sarcastic phenomenons best left in the refuge of a dirty sidestreet alleyway of the forums. Certainly there are those that would argue this most graciously, I have actually been surprised at how many wonderful folks here have come to respect and even admire me for various reasons thinking me even like I am some kinda unsung hero....but then on the opposite side of the coin, this name RadArt has made some very bitter and very ingenious adversaries...and you know...I do not blame them. I have obviously stepped on more than a few toes and peeved off a lot more members than I can chew in my reign, so what the hey. But I am certainly not happy about this in the least. It is however "behind"....and it is all in the "past" and I guess what I am trying to say here and now is that I would REALLY like to leave it there...please. I have confronted my difficulties, those things that may have brought out the worst in me and overwhelmed any and all those things that may be of value about me from time to time and far too often. I am not at all at liberty to discuss what these various hardships were, suffice it to say, I have had some things plagueing my betterment for some time and many of these were in fact related to family...and also very personal...and many were so without my conscious awareness as to what it was that was causing me to be so self destructive.....and that is now all I will say about this. I now find myself in a catch 22. I actually do like these forums and I like many people on them. I have attempted to leave behind this entity of contraversy called RadArt before, only to have it follow me around like some heathen from hell that will not let me go....I would have no problem anymore now being this RadArt again, but if only I had the time and yearning for effort to straighten out all the considerable "mess" this name has incurred over time on these forums....I do not have this luxury....I do not wish to spend an eternity figuring out the past....I wish to move on and go forward onto better things and actually contribute to these forums with positive values and contributions instead of negativity and sarcasm and contraversy that never ends. Thanks to TammyMC and Clint at Renderosity, and thanks to Jackie and Mark at the Commune, I have already begun a transition towards a more positive role on the forums in the last little while, unfortunatly I had a slight mishap a short time ago and had some growing pains, but that is behind me now for certain. I do wish to thank these folks for making me realize my potentials and helping me believe in things I had stopped believing in for far too long. There are other folks on the forums that have always held faith in me and seen values in me and urged me on to work with these and I thank them all as well, I am in debt to you's always, even though I have been a stubborn ars for far too long it seems. The most signifigant developement of all though, for me, is what is happening in my real life. My art is finally taking me to new leaps and bounds, the kind that actually have and will continue to proliferate monetary value. You cannot possibly imagine how wonderful this makes me feel. I really find it astounding how quick a more positive outlook 'can' make a difference. For all and any of you folks upon these forums that sometimes get dissallusioned, or feel negative, or feel like throwing in the towel or giving up, I urge you to attempt to believe in yourself, in your work, it 'really' can and does work wonders. It is something I took a long, long time to realize. "Oh woe is me" does nothing for anyone. Trust me on that ;-) "Carry a thick hide, and not a thick head"...if you can endure and bounce off the ney's, and open you mind to all those good things about yourself and stick with that no matter what, you will prevail if your good enough. For every ten folks that will adore your work, there will always be one that will hate it, sh*t happens, bounce off the crap and shine with the good stuff and you will win, whether for hobby or career. From this day on, let it be known that I hereby rid myself of this old rag of a RadArt, this old smelly worn out sock, and from here on in I shall be known as "DragonWalk" at Renderosity and Peter at the Commune. Oh...and one more very important thing.......please accept my "apology" for being such a round-about ass for so long. I may not post on the dialogue forums much anymore, but I will be here, doing positive and creative stuff ;-) Cheers, Peter/DragonWalk P.S. Digital Medium is in it's sheer infancy, trust me on this, it is gonna become really, really, really huge in the next while...I think many folks already do know this...the writing is on the wall...stick with it...you've only to gain.

Peter, these are perhaps the wisest words I have read here in a long time. Thank you for them! -Eric/Trav

Good luck, Peter! -Heike-

Congratulations on your personal development. It's good to know when someone has subdued their personal problems. Welcome DragonWalk! Jerry B Long Beach, CA "...People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..."

It takes a big man to say this!

Congratulations Peter, personally, I never had a problem with Radart and I'm loocking forward to see a lot of creative stuff from Peter/DragonWalk :-). be well Thomas

Congrats Peter! There is a lot of wisdom in your post. You know Renderosity is here for you. Regards, Clint

Good luck, Peter. You just do whatever it takes to be happy:) "My art is finally taking me to new leaps and bounds, the kind that actually have and will continue to proliferate monetary value." Yep, that ought to help a whole lot...;)

My art is finally taking me to new leaps and bounds... Not too surprising considering the talent within you. Congratulations, and be well! :)

Hi Rad. As usual I fell asleep while reading your long post. And who is this DragonWalk guy? just kidding Welcome back. :)

I will be sure to keep an eye on your gallery Peter. I like what I see so far. Keep doing art that you love and you will be happy.