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Subject: Critique please, if you'd be so kind...


tuttle ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 11:13 AM · edited Fri, 22 November 2024 at 5:43 PM

Attached Link: http://www.renderosity.com/viewed.ez?galleryid=258541

file_26614.jpg

For the first time, and seeing everyone's doing it, I'm posting an image here for virulent critique. I've only posted a very small version here (and it does lose something in translation!). The gallery link leads to a bigger one. The original is 960x1600. A study of Thomas Covenant (The Covenant Chronicles - Stephen R Donaldson) sometime after he escaped the Clave, killing many people in the process. From left to right, Thomas Covenant, Pitchwife, Linden Avery, Vain, The First (rear) and Brinn. Lord Foul, of course, is in the clouds. Lit with light cage and 2 HDRI hemispheres - and a few other lights. All clothing and hair done with mouse in post, using Photopaint 9. Covenant's shirt was from a digital photo I took of my own horrendous atire, cloned, mapped and shaded by hand. No compositing or layering, the basic image was rendered as-is, with the 2nd HDRI hemisphere causing the distance effect for Lord Foul. Foul himself is a Poser head mapped with several altitude transparency gradients and volumetric cloud mats. Render time about 3 hrs. Postwork - 6 hrs. So, do your worst. Honest opinions only, please, whatever they may be! ;)


Aldaron ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 11:27 AM

Can't really think of anything wrong with it. Only thing is I can't really make out Lord Foul and maybe tone down the specularity on the skin of the figures, they look wet. I have mixed feelings about those books. On one hand I liked them and on the other I thought Thomas was an absolute fool with all that power. :) Seems there are lots of people getting into recreating scenes from books. Hobbit with the Shanara series, you with Thomas Covenant and myself with Dragonriders of Pern.


tmac87 ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 11:42 AM

The perspective is great and you captured his tortured look remarkedly well, I have to agree with Aldaron, they do look wet. Also the reflection on his neck from the ring is a tad bright IMHO... I am rereading those books, just started on the Illearth war yesterday. Every notice how Donaldson over describes everything? Night is always hanging over their heads like a ravening Ur-Vile waiting to pounce or the river is lurking like gibbering madness or some such...


SAMS3D ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 12:44 PM

I can only critique it like this.......AMAZING.....TRULY, captured a real moment. Sharen


tuttle ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 12:53 PM

Thanks for the comments so far. Aldaron / tmac87 - yes, I intended the figures to look wet (a bit of explanation on my part is necessary, I think!) They are standing in the desert, and the Sunbane is rising, making the heat interolerable, hence the sweat. Foul is rising from the red Sunbane into the blue morning sky. Also, the puncture wounds on Covenant's arm are where he was bitten by Marid.


tuttle ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 12:55 PM

interolerable = intolerable (I'm getting worse...)


Aldaron ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 1:21 PM

In that case I'd mat Thomas' hair to his forhead, if he's sweating that much his hair would be wet as well. Just a suggestion.


ariannah ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 1:45 PM

Although I agree about the specularity and clouds ( a slight toning down and tweak), I had to stop by to add a comment.

tuttle, this image has amazing power and emotion emminating from it! You really have captured quite a remarkable moment in time. Everytime I view it, I find myself noticing another detail. All of it adds up to an extraordinary image I look forward to seeing upon its completion.

Thanks for posting this!

~Arry

I dare you, while there is still time, to have a magnificent obsession. --William Danforth


TheVelvetFoxx ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 4:59 PM

Love the perspective!


hewsan ( ) posted Tue, 08 October 2002 at 9:37 PM

Returning the favor.... of your kind critique for my work.
I am not familar with the story if that is important to what is being shown...
The front lead character is very well done. The tallest character, and the two on the right, in the back is not done up to that same high standard though. Jpeg compression has something to do with it, but adding some extra directional lighting, especially on the dark skin, would better show the physique details. An option, to see how it works, would also have the tallest character having his head turned more toward the viewer. Like the heavy character's head being opposite that of the cloud... and I like how the head in the clouds turned out.
Nit picking of course. It's evident that you know what you wish to portray.


Zhann ( ) posted Wed, 09 October 2002 at 12:01 AM

Wow, it's been awhile since I read that series...

Bryce Forum Coordinator....

Vision is the Art of seeing things invisible...


humorix ( ) posted Wed, 09 October 2002 at 3:30 AM

file_26616.jpg

- The glaze would be natural in case the character was perspiring, but then the glaze should have carried to other side too. The skin looks a bit too dry on forehead, cheeks and neck, where the primary light source is hitting and should have been glazed in case of sweating. Adding hi-light and glisten to the blood near the wounds (they do look a bit dry yet not clotted, all the same they do look great, as real blood permeates on skin!) would make it look more realistic. Another observation was, if the blue light is strong enough to glisten on the skin, why isnt it acting as an active fill light on the secondary characters? The shadow area of these characters is pretty dark. Also, the sparkle on the ring isnt un-natural, but with the ring falling in shade, which is the source of light hitting it that causes the sparkle? In case its luminous by itself, shouldnt it have a glow as against a sparkle? - Kudos for the haunted look, skin tones, hair and clothes! Simply marvellous work! - Lord foul isnt too visible on first viewing, but comes about clearly on inspection. Increasing cloud definition, off his forehead and along his ears, while seeming to merge into his face might help. Also the highlight on his cheek is a bit distracting, and prevents the outline of the face from forming when the eyes scans it! Muting this hi-light a making the wooliness of clouds more evident along contours (Photoshop work here, with a lot of cloning patching etc) might make the face more cloudy and a tad more evident. Unless the ethereal look has been achieved on purpose! Making a separate rendition of the cloud face and then composting it might help. Also I got better results with the snowy/fluffy cloud material (in clouds material in Bryce) then I did with volumetric material. Do you think it might be worth a try? - In terms of composition, what if you had the secondary characters placed slightly lower and starting off with The First (I take it, its the lady with the sword, am not familiar with the book or cast of characters) and the rest arranged as they are? It will make a triangular composition, providing easier entry and exit point for the eyes as well as accentuating the natural triangle forming between Thomas head and left arm. I have taken the liberty to work on your image a bit, but only to roughly illustrate what I meant. The blue line delineates the eye path with the entry and exit points (as I see it), and the orange/red lines composition. Please let me know if you have seen it and Ill delete the image immediately thereafter. Hope this input proves to be useful. Avi


tuttle ( ) posted Wed, 09 October 2002 at 7:27 AM

file_26617.jpg

Thanks for all the feedback, much appreciated. Yes, unfortunately some detail was lost in transition. The fang marks on Covenant's arm are where he was poisoned - on the original you can see the reddened veins as the venom works its way outwards from the wound - hence the red swelling - but unfortunately you can't see that so well here. (I posted these bits original size, so you can see.) I tried to get the effect of the venom creeping slowly outwards, which actually plays a big part in how the story develops later on. Hmm, I actually didn't tell the whole truth about the "glaze"! Yes, I did intend for it to be there, but I didn't intend for it to be that strong. I increased the strength simply to get the benefit of the HDRI lighting, because it's not actually specularity on the skin, it's reflectivity, at about 8%. The specularity is actually very low. Vain was a challenge, because I was trying to portray him as accurately as possible, and in the book he is completely black, even his teeth and his eyes, and he seems to refuse light. Again, his feral grin didn't come across in the small version, so I posted his face original size. Maybe I should have used artistic license and given him some more highlights! And I agree that the composition of the group is lacking something, although I'm still not sure what. The analysis is helpful, Humorix. You've address the composition, which is what most troubled me, and I think you've come up with a way to improve it, but there's still something amiss. Somehow, the group is still too "bitty". And Foul, yes, he was much clearer immediately after the render, as you can see, but I did intend for him to be difficult to see. I attacked him with the diffusion brush in Photopaint as he was IMO too clear immediately post-render. I think I made the mistake of telling people he was there - maybe it would be better if people hadn't have seen him, or maybe seen him later on...? I've learned a lot doing this piece and also seeing the reaction. I did constrain myself not just to the looks of the characters, but also to their characterisation in the books. Covenant is close to breaking because the fate of the Land lies on his shoulders and Foul is trying to manipulate him into destroying it. Linden is tortured as she can feel the suffering of the Land as it's ravaged by the evil Sunbane. Pitchwife laughs in the face of adversity and his wife (The First) is strong and stalwart. Vain has a hidden purpose, never speaking but serving Covenant in his own way. Brinn, too, serves Covenant but expects perfection in return for his loyaltly. SO... I reckon what this has taught me is that when you're working to a strict spec, whether it's your own or someone else's, it's twice as hard to get everything to fit together in an artistic sense!!! Big thanks to everyone who commented here & in the gallery, 'specially Humorix - it's clear you put a lot of thought into it.


hewsan ( ) posted Thu, 10 October 2002 at 1:39 AM

Just something to consider...

If you are interested in changing the composition, would suggest not leaving the empty spacing on the right side, as the previous posting suggested. This does not have the look to me in being intended to hold text, which could be used there...

Want to keep the viewer's eyes framed into your scene, not flow from the top off the image at mid right, i would assume.

Another suggestion would be to leave the heavy fellow back about where he is, with head juxaposed against the cloud's. The remaining characters, with the tallest still in the rear but angled more towards the viewer, and closer to the right edge, body facing inward. Remaining characters more coming forward - with the dark skin one the closest and body cantered so that you can more easier get away with adding the highlights you mentioned. Even the darkest skin, when there is sweat, is going to give off highlights - and at least personally - finding satisfactory means of keeping details apparent with dark textures is a difficult trick to pull off. Have to over compensate - because jpeg conversion will undo just about anything else that's done...

Still applaud the work done on lead character and cloud. Hope this post will give something to think on,
best, hewsan


tuttle ( ) posted Thu, 10 October 2002 at 4:55 AM

Yeah, composition is a hellish subject to learn - there are just no set rules! It's a lot worse for book covers, etc. (I should be so lucky!) because there the consideration of the title, the author's name, the blurb on the back, the wording on the spine, and everything has to fit in. Ah, well, learning all the time! But I'm leaving this image as it is, now, and concentrating on my Rendo Mag Competition entry, which I shall start on Saturday. I urge everyone to enter, and judging by the unnervingly high standard of entries so far, it will be good practice for the GURU Competition! Thanks again for the advice!


bikermouse ( ) posted Fri, 11 October 2002 at 2:18 AM

tuttle, Thomas Covenant - was he the non-beliecer or the un=believer? It's been so long I can't remember. Lighting - darker? background characters - a little closer? camera angle - slightly more upward? maybe raise the eyebrows on TC and open his mouth a little more. THe cloud figure doesn't stand out in the render as well as it should? - TJ


tuttle ( ) posted Fri, 11 October 2002 at 4:21 AM

Ur-Lord Thomas Covenant, un-believer and white gold wielder!


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