Forum Moderators: wheatpenny, Wolfenshire
Writers F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2025 Feb 07 5:44 am)
I really like the start of the poem, the image of a slow river coursing through the veins. Although the concept is used a lot, you've put it in a different light. I think the next two sentences drag down your poem, though. I'd tighten the second sentence to: Hope is a stranger smiling, in a sad and lonely place. I'd also change the 3rd sentence. Without your explanation, I'd have no idea what you meant. The fourth sentence picks back up, but, being pedantic, I'd take out the second use of "hope" and put in a similar word. To me, it's like giving a definition of a word by using that word. (E.g. Rendering means to render a picture.) Your poem does have promise, and it's refreshing to see an optimistic poem that isn't mushy. Thanks for sharing this with us.
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Hope Hope is nurturing rivers, running slowly inside my veins. Hope is a stranger smiling, when the world seems like a sad and lonely place. Hope is nothing, when the last thing you want is all. Hope is knowing that whatever happens, there will always be a shred of hope behind these closed and dividing walls. Here is the add to my image that goes with this poem, if anyone is interessted.. :) http://www.renderosity.com/viewed.ez?galleryid=263577&Start=1&Sectionid=4&WhatsNew=Yes