A short poem 10 lines or less where the trick is to use a close rhyme risking how far you can stretch what is called a rhyme, in free style, any subject matter, and as I see something I'll award points for it. All terms can be found in Lewis Turco's Book of Forms, University Press 2000. As I reinvestigate the poems, it will be a learning experience for me also. C'mon CND set your minds free. Don't be scared; Don't be weird; Just pull out your pen and bleed*..Hey! Just rant, rhyme, and write *And hopefully I'll see something tommorrow. *that's what's called a ceasura, a still, a pause. *that's my idea of a bad line. Even though there is a consonance of ll,ll,and rr and euphony in the ee in see and something, it still sound clunky.

I scored that out at 14+ to 15. Don't feel bad Tres had 12 lines you only had eight. From now on let's try to keep the number of lines 10 or less so to get the scores closer together. If you want a breakdown of how I scored the poem I could E-mail it to you later tonight. You got the most points for a moving focus with rising action. 5 points over 3 lines.

Let's see.... night-eyes...the i attempt...compensate sounds...katydids flickering...gleams darkness...presence being...weight 2 points pouring over drowning 3 points heart..ears sensations sharp and chill 3 points taste...sweet 2 points for the reversal await...dawn 17 points for the starter not bad for the first go I bet you didn't think I'd catch that taste sweet reverse did you Not bad tres. 17 do I hear another go coming?

No charge on this one

Right there in front of you...I did a pentad, but what I'm looking for is breaking the must rhyme by couples,exact rhyme,2 couplets to a stanza form....in iambic pentemeter...uggh! that we get stuck on in English class..What do you say Cal? let your bagpipes go and let's hear the notes get close to those clunkers. Show us that your poetic liscence is valid.

I think with a little work your dreamer could wake to this poem. Don't work about the pink slips sinking your poem,just consider it a wip and tie it to your graphic...Maybe in three quatrains with a change in viewpoint from obseving the scene, to a feeling,to a memory. Its only a suggestion as rendered to blue said poetry is of the soul, not the ear. If the translation is hard. It could be because your soul is German. The words might have to be german too. Put on a little Wagner and go with it.

There were enough clues for me. Life is beautiful isn't it. I can think of no death worse than bleeding out during childbirth.

How do you backroom exactly? I copied down the direct address into my notes, but sending stuff there? My inet skills Are lacking still Do you have a pill?

Not bad, but something makes me want to reply, "Go fish !" perhaps something in the line of (in my best Paul Harvey voice) "And that's the rest of the story."

Oh I've had to sell to editors before check out the back room message.

Its hard to do anything without your chatroom working...let's say we were working on consonant pairs and there was an open invitational a classic a poem about oranges. I made arrangements for the storage of oranges. some challenges invite an immediate response like this one, Plus I'm on of the few people I know who got fired for a job he volunteered for. I wrote a geneology column for a local newspaper for about four months, and as I was developing my reasons for maintaining a family history I had a reader call in and complain that I was writing fiction. I agreed that it was a scenario that was just a reason to keep records. The paper should have been pleased that anyone would call,seeing as it was of the local shopping news variety. Someone actually read their publication. But they dropped the column because the though the call was negative. If I get traffic flowing to this site. Don't shoot me for doing so. My veins are full of ink and I guarantee it will flow. The newspaper I wrote for is no longer published...Seemed there was nothing to read in it so their ad sales dropped to zip. The parent pulled the plug.

Last night scraping latex off the printing press; I tried to seek joy in work; And wish Cambert would find success; For being such a sport... internal and external pairs with consonnance...Oh what a tangled web.(bad press joke especially ofter I spent all night getting the gunk out.)

Write on McDuff, write on.

Try it as one staza and simplify your word count just a little. It's a good poem, but to improve the flow watch the "ing" words they tend to chop it up. Don't be shy; And don't be sore; Give it another try; Or write some more. Pink slips sink quips.

I like the idea of a forms contest every now and then. For those poets who aren't aquainted with some of the forms poetry takes there would be some learning and for those of us who spin words there would be a challenge.