Ok, phuh, i'm tryin to stay calm, this is the first time i show one of my english-written poems to more people than just my clostest friends. Please give comments. Deep inside our soul, there lies a sleepin star, dreaming, waiting, hoping, till the day so far When the star is waking and becomes a light, shining on our way to the land of flight. There the souls wings spread, glittering in gold, and without regret leave behind the old. Through winds and storms of whishes will the flight go on with feelings so delicious, wherever they belong. No one knows his way, no one dares to guess, the flight is our hope, he can damn and he can bless. What do you feel inside your heart? Can you tell me? Make a start ... Nadine

"Deep inside our soul, there lies a sleeping star" I really like that line. Very thought provoking piece.

No need to panic. I think you did a good job with the poem. The only part that confuses me (and this is probably because I'm not very good at reading poetry in the first place) is the line: "the flight is our hope, he can damn and he can bless." Who is he? It doesn't seem to fit the idea of the star in its role of guiding light, but I think that is me not understanding and not a problem with the poem (I did mention a few hundred times that I had trouble with poetry when I took English in school....bad news since I was an English major in college). P.S. Quickly I say that I majored in English literature (19th century), so don't expect expertise in grammar or spelling...we didn't study the structure of the langauge at all, alas. Off topic but somehow related in my mind: this reminds me of a children's story I like very much called "The North Star" by Peter Reynolds: http://www.fablevision.com/northstar/read.html which is on a similar theme, I think. I based one of my early graphics on it because I think this idea is such an important one for a creative person...so challenging and yet so necessary, I think, for each of us to find their own way instead of letting someone else choose it for us. Thank you for sharing your lovely vision. I enjoyed it very much.

Try it as one staza and simplify your word count just a little. It's a good poem, but to improve the flow watch the "ing" words they tend to chop it up. Don't be shy; And don't be sore; Give it another try; Or write some more. Pink slips sink quips.

Shhhh, NEVER use the "pink" and "slips" adjacent to each other. Or, for that matter, in the same sentence!

Oh I've had to sell to editors before check out the back room message.

Figures you'd be on before I could duck out...(sheepish grin).

Out of curiosity, what is your native language? From your post, it sounds like English is not your first language. (If I'm wrong, please don't get offended! When you said English-written poem, it sounds like you usually write in another language.) This really is a beautiful poem. It is cheerful without being sickly sweet. I really like stanzas 1, 2 and 5. They're the strongest parts of your poem. I do agree with tjames about making the poem 1 long stanza, or at least combining some of the stanzas together. A few minor corrections: There the souls' wings spread ... Through winds and storms of wishes ... dialyn - I think the "he" refers to "the flight" in the line: No one knows his way, no one dares to guess, the flight is our hope, he can damn and he can bless. In many languages, every noun is masculine, feminine, or neuter. In the Spanish language, for example, flight is vuelo, which is masculine. In Spanish, instead of saying "it" when referring to flight you'd say "he." Of course, I might be totally off-base with my guess, but that's what I think is going on here. (Again, if I'm wrong about the native language, Feendrache, please don't get offended!) Thanks for sharing this with us!

And in Pig Latin, "e-hay" is masculine and "er-hay" is femminine. "euter-nay" is neuter. (somebody slap me...apparently I'm not slapping myself hard enough!)

Huh, thanks for comments. My native language is german and in german flight is masculin, so .... but i don't know if it sounds right with "it" in it. Or what should it be with the flight?

I don't know, Feen. I spent 7 years in W. Germany. The wonderful big town of Augsburg and then Karlsruhe. Sad to say my German is not so good. Nicht so gut. Aber, Deutschland ist wunderbar! I can't even remember how to say beautiful (sigh). Sorry if my previous post sounded, hmmmm, flippant. PS: I travel in my duties with a good friend named Klaus Pankratz. He was sometimes embarrassed at my attempts at speaking German...but at the same time, I think he liked it that I tried. Ahhh...Bayern!

Ooops, meant "traveled". Sorry.

I think with a little work your dreamer could wake to this poem. Don't work about the pink slips sinking your poem,just consider it a wip and tie it to your graphic...Maybe in three quatrains with a change in viewpoint from obseving the scene, to a feeling,to a memory. Its only a suggestion as rendered to blue said poetry is of the soul, not the ear. If the translation is hard. It could be because your soul is German. The words might have to be german too. Put on a little Wagner and go with it.