I have the story ideas but not talent for the graphics. I started a couple but didn't think the quality of the graphics was adequate so they are just sort of sitting on the webpage right now.

This is much better. Very easy read compared to what you had before. A few commas and such are missing but Very well done. I will give it an editory look at lunch time.

I know exactly how you feel. I have a few things in my head that won't shut up. I guess I will have to make time to write them down soon before it turns in to voices in my head.

Don't forget, you have also invited a Structural Engineer. :) I agree with your comments about Engineers (Imagine that) and it is good to get some respect for a change instead of all the blame from the Lawyers. Your closing does need a lot of work especially since this is suppose to be more of a sales pitch. In our society today if someone decides they want to be offended today they will find a way to be offended. Since you want to reach as many people as possible and your closing statement is what they will remember this definately needs some work. I don't think I will have enough time this weekend to work on it but I am sure someone will. If not I will try to make time next week. Just some tips.. 1. Fewer Biblical references - Some people will start zoning out and miss the rest of your statement. Yes it had a lot to do with the environment but only minimal impact on your project. 2. Product placement - You only mentioned the prject once in the entire closing statement. Make this a conclusion and remind the "viewers" just what they have been watching this for and why your idea is a better solution. 3. Just remember High School English class (if you can, It's only been 12 years for me and I have trouble at times)...Introduction - Tell them what you are going to show them...Conclusion/Closing - Tell them what you showed them. I think if you keep these things in perspective you will do fine.

Post #1 First Paragraph "Today we have made some strides in to return to recycling materials' Try "Today we have made some strides in returning to recycling materials," Post #2 Second Paragraph, second line... "but lets ponder what else might be possible" lets should be let's -Technically, I guess since this is a voice over this one may not really matter but anyway- This is just at first glance. Looks like it is coming along pretty good.

Looks like it is coming along. Can't wait until you have the animation complete. I would love to see it. I read through it and didn't see anything glaring. I seemed to flow ok. I didn't do a thorough read however. BTW foleypro...he is posting this for feedback on the writing for a project he is working on.

You should always strive to finish a story. No matter what. If you don't the story will always be lingering around taking up space in your mind for the next project you want to work on. I know not every story will be finished but you shouldn't base your decision on whether to continue or not from someones opinion of quality. (Side note: this is not directed at your opinion dido just a general observation) The reason that you should continue are as follows: 1. even bad writing can be learned from. 2. anyting that you can finish is a boost to your ego if nothing else. 3. never let yourself get into a habit of not finishing things because it is a bad habit to break (Trust me on this one.) P.S. I noticed that you deleted earlier post and this is for everyone. If you don't like the way you worded something edit your post. Also if you question is answered don't delete your post because by leaving it you can help the next person to come along with a similar question. Even if later you think it was a stupid question. Everyone in here is a pretty good person and no one will think you are stupid. The truth is others were probably thinking the same thing but weren't as brave as you for asking. Sorry about that it was just a topic that I wanted to discus for a while. Keep writing.

Which entry is which?

Wow...and here I had almost convinced myself that I was smart.

Very good obsevations dialyn I would have to agree.

As far as writing something good. As I am writing I think it is great (why else would I continue) however later I look at it and I think it is crap. I think it is human nature. We are our worst critics that is what makes us strive to be better which will eventually lead to greatness.

I once wrote a song that I thought was great until I finished it. Then I thought it was crap. To make a long story short years later after a few drinks I played it for some friends and I then I was forced to allow friends to play it at my wedding reception. Everyone loved it.
Moral of the story. Even if you think it is crap at least try to finish it because you can learn something even from bad writing and you never know...someone may think it is great.

Well that's it for the inspiration this week. Everyone have a good easter weekend. PS I posted to the gallery a short piece I wrote in my head during my morning commute.

Later

Message edited on: 03/25/2005 11:06

Since it is a voice over you don't have to worry about lip sync. SO that give you more time to develop the script. Do you have a bisic idea of what you want. Step 1 would be to develop your idea. It will make the actual writing of the script so much easier if you have it planned out first.

No coffee for me. Caffeine is bad for me and coffee without the caffeine, what's the point. It's like non alcoholic beer. nocturnecsh - honest spelling errors are ok it's the constant mispelling of the lazy that is irritating. Welcome David

Attached Link: http://www.writersstore.com/article.php?articles_id=525&discount=ezine&source=ezine

It's like any writing. It takes time, patients and dedication. I actually find it easier to write a script than a novel. In a novel you have to show the reader emotions and reactions and in a script you basically give the actors guidelines on what you are looking for. Same goes for Sets. I use a method similar to the one that dialyn mentioned earlier in this forum...Expanded Scene Breakdown. Although I had a different name for it it is basically the same thing. I guess the reason some think it is harder is because you have to do more planning before you start the writing. If you just sit down at your keyboard and think..."I'm going to write a script" then yes it will be very very very difficult. Writing anything can be easy...Writing something good, now there lie the struggle.

Looks good to me.

I have a questin concerning this comment "which includes no exposed chest..." It doesn't specify male or female and I was curious b/c some time back I saw a post in the gallery that was sort of Norman Rockwellesque it was 3 boys jumping into a river and playing, wearing shorts of course. Now according to the new terms that picture is no longer allowed. Is that correct? I have absolutely no problem with any thing else that was said but there was nothing wrong with the picture I mentioned. Just curious.