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Subject: OT-13 Reasons to Smile

Ardiva opened this issue on Jul 23, 2004 · 10 posts
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Ardiva ( ) posted Fri, 23 July 2004 at 5:13 PM · edited Tue, 30 July 2024 at 12:52 PM

Hopefully, this will be the last one I'll post here for awhile. 'Tis been a bad couple of days and I needed all the chuckles I could get. So without further ado.... ==================== Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!" I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk." Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !! Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?


Ang25 ( ) posted Fri, 23 July 2004 at 6:17 PM · edited Fri, 23 July 2004 at 6:18 PM

:-D got me chuckling! Thanks

Message edited on: 07/23/2004 18:18

draculaz ( ) posted Fri, 23 July 2004 at 9:01 PM

lmao

Colette1 ( ) posted Fri, 23 July 2004 at 10:52 PM

These are really funny... Thanks for the laugh!! Just what was needed right now:)

Colette1 ( ) posted Fri, 23 July 2004 at 10:53 PM

PS>>> If you have more of these post away I can always use a laugh. I hope tomorrow dawns brighter for you.

Ardiva ( ) posted Fri, 23 July 2004 at 11:01 PM

Hang in there a few days Colette, I just might be back with more. lol


tjohn ( ) posted Sat, 24 July 2004 at 3:08 AM

I only counted 12 reasons (sorry, it's compulsive behavior, can't be helped. One more reason to smile: You still have teeth.

This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy

Ardiva ( ) posted Sat, 24 July 2004 at 8:13 AM

Opps..you're right, tjohn. I removed one of 'em as it wasn't very appropriate, but glad you found a replacement. I still have teeth it is true, and I'm happy to say that I can see then every night in a glass. ;)


Quest ( ) posted Sat, 24 July 2004 at 5:54 PM

Ardiva, just like stars! ;)

Ardiva ( ) posted Sat, 24 July 2004 at 6:05 PM

Absolutely Quest! ;)


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