First ... for the admins: I can't find a proper place to post this - if there is a place where to post this - would you please move it there - thank you - A happy new year ... and again a year passes by. Once again it was not the best one - but also not the worst one, well finally for me. Once again we lost friends - some forever. Once again we found friends - hopefully forever. I made myself rare during the last months. An instance I will try to change during the next months. I can't promise this but be assured I'll try. Normally I summarize the year a bit up in my yearly "happy new year wishes". I'm sorry, I think I was away to long to do this in a faithfull and honest (well, faithfull for my own expectations finally) way. As always I'll take a lyric of a song to give this year an end and the next one a start. I chose a german song it is from Wolfsheim (in case you want to know) - I will try to translate it in English - this is not easy because this song draws a lot of comparisms in its words but ... however here it is: First in German - for all of you who understand it: Kein zurk Es gibt keinen Weg zurk Wei du noch, wies war Kinderzeit, wunderbar Die Welt ist bunt und sch Bis du irgendwann begreifst, Dass nicht jeder Abschied hei Es gibt auch ein Wiedersehn. Refrain: Immer vorwts, Schritt um Schritt Es gibt keinen Weg zurk Was jetzt ist, wird nie mehr ungeschehn Die Zeit lft uns davon Was getan ist, ist getan Was jetzt ist, wird nie mehr so geschehn. Es gibt keinen Weg zurk (2x) Ein Wort zu viel im Zorn gesagt Einen Schritt zu weit nach vorn gewagt Schon ist es vorbei Was auch immer jetzt getan Was ich gesagt, hab ist gesagt Was wie ewig schien, ist schon Vergangenheit. Refain Ach und kntich doch nur ein einzges Mal Die Uhren rkwts drehn Denn wie viel von dem, was ich heute wei Htich lieber nie gesehn. Es gibt keinen Weg zurk (3x) Dein Leben dreht sich nur im Kreis So voll von weggeworfener Zeit Deine Trme schiebst du endlos vor dir her Du willst noch leben irgendwann Doch wenn nicht heute, wann denn dann? Denn irgendwann ist auch ein Traum zu lange her. Refrain Ach und kntich doch nur ein einzges Mal Die Uhren rkwts drehn Denn wie viel von dem, was ich heute wei Htich lieber nie gesehn. The english translation: No return There's no way back Do you know how it once has been Childhood days, wonderfull The world is colourfull and beautyfull Untill you realise one day not every goodbye means there's also a "see you again" Chorus: Always forward, step by step there's no way back what is (takes place) now, will never be undone The time is runing away (from us) what you've done is done what is (takes place) now, will never happen like this again there's no way back One word too much said in anger One step, risked to much and it is over whatever said now whatever I said, it is said what seems to be forever, it is past. Chorus Oh, if I only would be able for just one time turn back the clock Because how much of what I know today, I like to saw never. there's no way back You life always running in circles so full of thrown-away time You push your dreams in front of you forever (which means you will never fullfill your dreams) You plan to live some day But if not now, at the time when ? Because someday a dream is forgotten too. Oh, if I only would be able for just one time to turn back the clock Because how much of what I know today, I like to saw never. So what is this about this lyrics. It touches me in many ways. The first thing was that you have to take care of your words. This is something we all should be care to - in real life and specially here in our virtual life because here we have ONLY the word to communicate. No pronounciation here - no looking in anotherones face - and then ... I have to type in English - something that's difficult for me, because I'm not a natural english speaker. Just one word ("One word too much said in anger") I (or you) do misinterpret and we might are not be able to speak again (hopefully not - but it can happen that way). Maybe (and secondary thing about that song) it was because (well, not only but certainly a bit) of that I wanted to stay away from the forums. If you stuck too long in this whole internet-poser-rendering-forum-thingy you're tempt to forget about the other life outside there. Let me assume you "forum-junkies" there's a world outside your house (hey - just making a joke - in case you misinterpret my words). This is hidden inside the "someday a dream is forgotten too" and "there's no way back". We can't prevent the fact we're getting older. As much and wonderfull friends I learnt to know inside the virtual world I was missing the "normal" life a bit. Well, of course I was not stuck in the virtual world - but it can't replace speaking to other persons face to face. Well - I think this year was quiet unspectacular. OK, we had our problems with the marketplace at Renderosity - the "nudity" was banned - so we lost some products (there). Well, giggle, so far one of my products was banned too. But there was allready a big discussion about this in the merchant forum - no need to start it again. And then - late in the year - the big catastrophe came. "More then 10.000 - maybe 20.000 (or even more) people lost their life in less than a few minutes with the sea wave in the pacific ocean." I wrote this just three days ago. In the meantime noone is talking any more about 20.000 lost lifes - it'll be way more, maybe 100.000 and this is possibly not the end of this. I think words can not describe how much sorrow was caused in so less time. My deepest condolences to everyone who lost friends there. It might be not so many people you know - because those were mostly the poorest people of the poor people (they don't have problems like I have with my computer because they are stuck with more natural problems like simply staying allive). I was brought back to life once again very hard. Just to be remembered year for year millions of people dying of hunger, war and illness that could be healed if only enough medication would be available. With this background my mourning for the people who lost their life in Asia is relatived. Don't get me wrong. But it was something we can't influence. Maybe an early-warning-system could have saved ten-thousands of lifes - but later you know better. Now it is more important to learn from the mistakes and to make it not even worse. I'm once very happy that there are organisations like the red cross or the red halfmoon (or whoever). I always honored people who are helping, saving lifes. If you later on read about the pose-god ... please think about all the angels who are working in these conflict areas, they are way more important than Pose-gods. "Because how much of what I know today, I like to saw never." I don't agree with the song here. Of course you can see the world like this - but ... the world is like this. Being sad or keeping your eyes shut won't change something. Oh well, this world is much bigger than a simple forum or even all the forums about 3D. It seems we're all helpless against such things - "if I only would be able for just one time, to turn back the clock" - I'm tempted to say - ONLY ONCE ? In fact, we alone (and we too often we're all) are helpless against such things happening BUT ... I always was (and hopefully always will be) a fighter - I do believe in a thing called LOVE. I really do believe if people love and respect each other this world will be a better place. It doesn't matter which religion you have, which color or where are you from. If everyone help each other - we can achieve something we can be proud of. This is another thing I was missing in our bigger growing 3D-world. It has become too much money-orientated. We are loosing our helping-spirit here - maybe another reason I was slowly and securily fading away from the english forums. I can't say I'm not selling my stuff also - but I think you should give back something from time to time. Some merchants (or should I say a lot of, well at least think about it as you like) know that - and so there's still some free stuff left to make your images with. But the old forumdays are long gone. When we all were trying to help each other - without taking money for it - everyone was happy in giving - except taking. But - once again - "there's no way back". I'm seeing this spirit more allive in the german community - maybe that's the reason I was more active there. "because someday a dream is forgotten too" - well, beside that dream of peace and love for everyone (it's a foolish dream - I know, but a wonderfull dream anyway) I have another thing I'm believing in - It is the dream for myself. I really do believe there's someone out there who loves me and who am I able to trust in (well in my case it is a she - for a woman it may be a "he"). Some people calling me the god of poses. Well ... I'm definately not a god. I would change this world if I would be god. Ah, btw ... god - good conecting bridge. So here it comes to my wishes for the next year - the year 2005: So ... God (the real one - or the real ones (for all the people who do believe there's more then one god outside there :) ) these are the same wishes like every year: - End hunger - give everyone enough food to eat - Stop war - we had enough from crying mothers and children (and crying fathers also) - Stop illness in this world or give everyone the medication he/she needs - it can't be that people are still dying because of a simple flu I'm tempted to say - help me to find the missing part in my life ... but this sounds way to dramatically. It is not that bad for myself - and (who knows) I might have found that person, because I did listen to that song those thoughts started of. For myself it is hard, if I look at Asia, to say a warm "hello" to the new year. But anyway - our life must go on ... So, as it seems almost impossible my wishes (well, Ok - they are not moderate) to God (or the gods) will come true I can still wish you all: "A happy 2005. May your dreams (the forgotten ones also) come true. Peace, love and health for you and your friends. I wish for you you would never wish to turn back the clock of time - not even once." Egon Schlabber - Stephan Schoeneberg

Amen. May you have a peaceful and prosperous New Year, and may it be a better one for the world.

Your thoughts are shared Stephan - so hard to put into a few words, but you managed where others, (me) might be too overwhelmed to try. I too wish you and everyone a hopeful and fulfilling New Year - the date is but symbolic of fresh beginnings turning to a new page with all the optimism for a better script. Cheeers!! Masha