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Subject: Puntification


bobbystahr ( ) posted Fri, 28 November 2008 at 7:10 PM · edited Sun, 12 January 2025 at 2:54 PM

Some of these have been here before but are still funny, some are new...hope they give a chuckle at least.. ...

**CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"

  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.**

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an >optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

**  **16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

 

Once in a while I look around,
I see a sound
and try to write it down
Sometimes they come out very soft
Tinkling light sound
The Sun comes up again



 

 

 

 

 


TheBryster ( ) posted Sat, 29 November 2008 at 6:29 AM

Nice one, Bobby!

A man walked into a bar and screamed " Ouch!"
It was an iron bar.....

Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader

All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster


And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...


dyret ( ) posted Sat, 29 November 2008 at 7:26 AM

And I thought you people were serious! 😄


vangogh ( ) posted Sat, 29 November 2008 at 9:41 AM

Seriously!.....this is funny stuff! 


dyret ( ) posted Sun, 30 November 2008 at 7:52 AM

no fun intended i take it? 😄


dyret ( ) posted Sun, 30 November 2008 at 7:53 AM

please excuse my bad sense of humor. :lol:


Thelby ( ) posted Sun, 30 November 2008 at 11:23 AM

The Chicken rolled off The Egg, lit a cigarette, after just having sex with the Egg and said:
"Well that answers that old question!!!"

I would rather be Politically Incorrect,
Then have Politically Correct-Incorrectness!!!


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