Sometimes a scene falls flat - it lacks the tension you'd originally envisioned. May be the character for that scene isn't interesting enough, or won't see enough, to make the scene come alive. One way to fix the scene is to write it from a different character's view point. Here's the exercise: Write the scene from exercise 2 from the other person's point of view. If you didn't get a chance to get in on exercise two, grab one of the scenes and have at, or write the scene from both sides, one complete scene and then the other. (Considering one particular submission, I may regret this!) ;-) 9 September is the deadline. Have fun, and again, if you have an idea for an exercise, let me know.

----------- I feel her eyes burning into the back of my head, but I don't even turn to glance back at her. I have already memorized everything about her. The most important things. Like the curve of her ass as she sits on that damned stool. The swell of her breasts just a bit over the top of the skimpy tube top she's wearing. No barbie doll, but definately my type. I lean over and tense all my muscles, then relax them, knowing how they will just slightly ripple. I can hear the slight gasp as she watches. I grin, but she can't see it. I guide the stick slowly between my fingers, setting up the shot before the full stroke slams the cue ball into the seven and sends it hurtling to the left corner pocket. But instead of slipping in it smacked the bank and bounced away. Maybe she is affecting me more than I thought. Turning around I looked her over, making sure she saw my eyes traveling over her. "Your shot." --------------------

Dina slowly posed over the edge of the pool table, spending just as much time lining up her next shot as she did positioning her body for viewing. It was hard to concentrate on the path and angle of the cue ball when she was more concerned about the angle of her hips. She wrestled with her ego over which was more important, shook off the nagging dilemma, and smoothly slid the pool stick through her fingers tapping the cue ball with top-right english. A slow smile carved its way to her lips as she watched the target of her efforts make its way toward the corner pocket. "Ahhh..." She thought. Just right! The solid clunk of the red three nestling in its final destination signaled it was time to stand. And stand she did. Slowly, ever so slowly. She found it hard to surpress her smile of satisfaction as she stalked her targets. Her opponent was worthy. Both in skill and body. But, she told herself, Anna was just like the many assholes who had made life hell for her in high school. Just like all the ones who had made fun of her looks and her figure. She paused at the corner of the table, glanced at the ogling, beer-soaked "gorillas" that were hypnotized by her every move, and leaned slowly over the table once again. "Die, Bitch!" She thought, as she lowered her bare shoulders over the table once again. ----------------------------------------------------- OK, now for the apologetic part of the submission. NOTHING ever seems to come out the way I "see" it. I wanted to paint a picture of the harm school bullying can do to someone. To show how they can become so obsessed with "getting even" that they isolate themselves from people so much than they will never be happy. Her eagerness to punish girls for the torment she suffered as an adolescent as well as referring to the men as "gorillas" was supposed to signify a future life that would never be fulfilled due to her bitterness. Oh well. Hey! At least I submitted again.