BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (8)
titta
Uh1 What a triptych! It's beautiful, it's scary. I have to speak now the wholeness of this splenndid triptych, Yo - I'm totally impressed. The hard, black&white side meets the bright colourful bunch of butterflies, looking like summer with flourishing flowers and and wonderful light. You really can make the viewer think, and feel, and think again. Impressive. What else to say? So many thoughts coming ... most of them quite dark. No more explanations just one word more: masterpiece!
Jay7347
Strong piece of work yo...hope you are well! vote -jay
A_
yes, very powerful and disturbing... excellent composition and realism. i hope you are well too. :)
briarwitch
nods
Prinzessin
powerful AND disturbing AND moving AND scary AND deep AND emotions AND sorrow AND pain AND need AND want AND pain AND sorrow AND darkness AND why? AND future AND hope AND end AND release...? My associativity... Is this the real answer...? Hope ur well...
bevchiron
I've looked at all three panels of this work time & again now Yo words failing me as I see & feel so much here, this panel is so stark & has a distrubing sense of finality, the face in the central panel is so full of intense expression it takes my breath away but now I see all 3 together the final panel touches me most, the contrast in stlye, the flowers & butterflies over bright & gay convey such a sense of false hope, a deeply sad impression that even in that ultimate release you would be denied relief from your pain. A lot of rambling thoughts here, sorry but I still can't find words for everything that this says to me, just hope you hang on in there & eventually find your release another way.
Synapse
I agree with Bev: such "relief" would only be of any worth if you'd be even alive to acknowledge and appreciate it, and there's the paradox that says it wouldn't be an answer. Life has to be lived, and sunshine is right here under our noses if darkness can be disregarded even for a moment. Take care Yoshi...
SSoffia
yoshi (.............. )