~Dear God~ by Kalliandra
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Description
I know I know, something also depressing... but I think that nightmare really got to me... I can't shake the feeling that it gave me... maybe its because the nightmare went into my deepest fears... the ones that I have been trying to push away into the darkest corner of my mind... so I don't have to think about them... worry... but that dream... it brought it out in me... now I can't stop thinking about it... worrying... I don't know how to stop... so I have prayed to God to help me... over and over I ask... but as soon as things start to seem like they are going better... something happens... something thats usually my fault... I make another mistake... hurt or offend someone... and the fears the my nightmare pointed out seem to jump out at me... terrify me... I don't want to go back to the way that I was... to the dark place where theres no hope and no life... but somewhere in my mind theres always something tugging... trying to lure me back into the darkness... the place thats familiar to me... where I know what it holds and I don't have to worry about losing the things I love... the things that I have worked for... but even though sometimes I feel like going back to how it used to be... back to the place that doesn't scare me... I keep fighting not to... because I know that its not good for me... even though I can't see how being this way... hurting everyday, is good for me... but I'm still trying... that way if I fail... I know that it wasn't because I just gave up...
I will try to post something happy from request of one of my closest friends ;) Thanks to everyone ;) Hope you like this... bye :P Not goodbye yet
--K
Comments (9)
tvernuccio
It's a beautiful, heartfelt letter you wrote to God, and just KNOW that he has heard you! All of us mess up and make mistakes; we're human, and well...it's our nature...the way God made us. He understands. Unfortunately, the way of the world is that bad things happen. it sucks...especially when these seem to happen on a roll. i've been in your shoes before. just keep talkin' to God and focus on his light and love and you won't get caught in the black hole of desparity and darkness. Whatever you do, don't give up. You can get thru whatever it is you're going thru. Have faith and trust that God will get you thru these tuff times. He will! just believe! I know it's not easy sometimes, but just take it one day at a time. that's all. Try not to worry. try to turn all your worries over to God. Hang in and God bless! Your image and words are gut-wrenching...so honest and straight from the heart! i love that! and i notice there are tear stains on the paper. Take good care. Hugggsssss!
pangor
While the main subject appears to be sadness. It is not this is a picture of hope and rebirth. I see this as an image of a Phenix gloriously rising from the ashes to begin life anew. ;-) -- Pangor
fluffgirl
To know all..is to forgive all. And Apparently..That is God
Axeye
Hey Kali, You're going to have a lot of ups and downs... Enjoy the ups and ride the tide down, but remember when you're down there's no place to go but up again!!! Hugs, Rob
NelZy4JeSsE
Kal...please don't get all depressed again. We love you to much to loose you remember? Keep your hopes up! xoxo Nel
ppetersen
Kalli, super hugs... you know I think of you and wish only good things for you... sometimes though we have to make them happen ourselves...
SantosD
As always, another heartfelt and amazing picture. I believe u are the most talented person i have ever seen artwork from, and will probably always stay that way. Keep up the good work!!!;D
mushypea
That's a very heartfelt letter. The composition of the image made it seem innocent and powerful. Whenever your feeling down always write things down. No matter what you think you have people out there that care for you and don't want to see you down like this. Don't let yourself slip back into the dark place.......have hope, and cling to it!
Kalliandra
:D I just realized, Tos.. this was posted 19 days before we started dating :D How great is that? :D I love you so much.. I can't wait to talk to you again!!! KISSS