Senses of Distrust by FormingInYourMind223

Writers • Challenge • posted on Sep 29, 2005

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Description

Tell me what you guys think of this. I just wrote it, with alot on my mind. Funny how I come up with stuff when I'm most stressed.I hope it will all be cleared up soon, but the way it seems, I may be back here more often. Hope you enjoy. "Senses of Distrust" What is it like To be called a liar By the one you love Like a knife in your gut What is it like To be called a cheater By people you don't know A smack to the face What is it like To lose something great The greatest thing in your life A slash across your throat How does it feel To have your heart stop By the hand of a stranger The shock of your life How will it taste When that familiar taste Suddenly is gone Sour apple in your throat How will it look When the one by your side Suddenly pretends to be gone Terrifying to the eye How will it sound When the one you love Suddenly stops laughing for good Enough to drive a man insane How will you show The world how you feel When that one thing is gone With a silver bullet How will it feel To know your alone To feel so hated I hope I never find out

Comments (7)

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Seliah

11:40PM | Thu, 29 September 2005

Very moving ! Very poignant and the cadences mesh together very well to tell the tale. I am sorry you are having a hard time and I hope it clears up, but if it makes you feel better, you are not alone in writing when stressed... I like this a lot, thank you for sharing it.

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Shadowmonkey

2:55AM | Fri, 30 September 2005

Strange, upsetting devastating as if your world has been torn apart. Hope it resolves it self soon all the best ;0)

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SNVixen

4:36AM | Fri, 30 September 2005

I can relate

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FireTemptress

12:57PM | Fri, 30 September 2005

I think this is a beautiful piece that really expresses the frustration, betrayal and devistation that you are feeling. I like the way this is worded. It is done in such a way that I feel your pain, and can apply it to my own. Thank you!

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TallPockets

3:35AM | Sun, 02 October 2005

Excellent work! As a product of the '60's were told to distrust anyone over the age of '30'. WINK.

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SusiQ

3:18AM | Mon, 03 October 2005

Very thoughful work. Stress and emotion seem to bring the depth out in people. I would say I hope to see more of this but I wouldn't want you to be so stressed all the time.. :-) Well done!

soulofharmony

5:50PM | Wed, 12 October 2005

often the best writing comes from stress..melancholy, hurt sense of loss.. how can we writing if we havnt experianced emotional experiances... lovely piece of free form poetry... some times its therapuetic just to release the depth of emotion in words. :)