A Terrible Wake-Up by FormingInYourMind223
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Description
Wrote this for my g/f. She had to write a short story for her teacher as well, so I wrote it for her. Well, here it is, so enjoy. WARNING: Some real life occuring events, and pretty sad.
A Terrible Wake-Up
Sarah opened her eyes, the light from above shining bright, causing her to close them
once again. When she finally could open her eyes to look around, she realized that she was in
a hospital bed. All around her were bouquets of flowers, from roses to petunias to daisies, the
colors seemed to make the room brighter than it already was. Suddenly, Sarah got a huge pain
in her head. She reached up to touch it, and foundt her hand meeting bandages wrapped in a
turbin-style around her head.
It suddenly came upon Sarah that she had no idea how she had got here. All she could
remember is her name, her parents, and where she lived. She knew that she was a juniorin High
School, a member of the cheerleading squad, and was an A plus student. She also
remembered her boyfriend, Jordan, and how they have been dating for almost two years now.
That's when she felt another pain, this time in her gut and heart. The recollection of what
happened suddenly hit here with full force.
Her and Jordan went to the movies, just like a normal Friday night. It was New Years
eve, and they thought they would celebrate by going and seeing a new movie that came out,
Scream of Terror II, both of them having seen the first one about a hundred times at home
together when they laid around being together and cuddling. After the movie, Jordan and Sarah
walked to his car, got in, and started driving to take Sarah home.
They had just gotten on the highway, and were behind this semi-truck, laughing and
tlaking about how great the movie was, when all of a sudden, there was a loud screech, and the
semi-truck in front of them had jack-knifed, causing JOrdan to slam on the brakes really hard.
But, no matter what he did, the car still slammed hard into the truck, Sarah's last memory and
thought being how she thought she was going to die. Now, she looked around the room, hoping
to find someone in the room to help her figure out what happened to her boyfriend.
No one was in the room, and Sarah looked instead for the call buzzer for a nurse to
come in. There, in the bed, neatly placed by her lap, was the buzzer. She picked it up, and
pushed the red button three or four times rapidly. Before she knew it, two nurses and a doctor
came rushing in, and when they saw Sarah, they got a look on their faces of complete joy. The
nurses started crying, and the doctor came up to her.
"Call her folks, tell them she's finally woke up!" The doctor said, a tall black man
wearing the usual white coat and khakis that almost every TV show with doctors usually wore.
One of the nurses nodded, then rushed out the door and down the hall.
"Where's Jordan, and how long have I been here?" Sarah asekd, noting the way the
doctor said 'finally'. The doctor's expression suddenly became very grim, and he pulled up a
chair next to Sarah's bed and sat down. Sarah felt her stomache jerk again, and knew she was
about to get bad news.
"Sarah..." the doctor began "Jordan..... forgot to wear his seat-belt. The impact of the
collision was in the front, and Jordan went..... through the window. Luckily, you were wearing
yours and only hit your head, causoing you to be in a coma for the past week or two." The
doctor spoke these words, and Sarah was glad she was lying down, because if she had been
standing, she would have collapsed to the floor.
"Is.... is he.... alive?" Sarah choked out the words, but already knew the answer from
the doctor's even more grim expression.
"The glass cut him very bad, and by the time paramedics arrived at the scene.... he
was gone..." The doctor placed his hand on Sarah's hand, and she jerked it waway, bringing it
to her face along with her other hand, then started crying loudly into them. She felt her heart
stop, and she felt like she couldn't breath. Her love, her joy, was now gone from this world, and
she didn't even get to say good-bye. She remembered all the date's they had went on, and how
they even started tlaking about getting married and having at least two or three kids. Now, all of
that just seemed to be a bad nightmare in her mind.
"Sarah.... I'm sorry that Jordan didn't make it... I wish I could tell you how much I feel
your pain, but no two experiences are alike I think.... if there is anything I can do, just let me
know. I'll be back when your parents get here." And with that, he got up, gave her a short
comforting hug, then left the room, leaving Sarah by herself again. Of course, now, it was
appropriate, because she really DID feel alone. She remembered as well always telling Jordan
to wear his seat-belt, but he never listned. Now, it had really cost him his life, while she lay in
the hospital, completely alive, with jumps a couple of bumps and bruises.
Sarah's parents arrived about ten minutes later, running in to find their daughter crying loudly into her pillow. Her mom was the first to embrace here in a hug that caused Sarah to breath even less than she already was, then her dad came and hugged them both. They were all in a fit of crying and relief.
"We thought.... we lost you!!" Her mother cried as she continued to give Sarah a big, giant hug. Sarah gently pushed her away, and tears still ran down her cheek.
"Jor-jordan.... he's... he's..." Sarah stammered through her water-works, but her mother hushed her.
"We know sweety.... we went to his funeral, and we couldn't help but feel abit relieved
that you weren't the one in that coffin. But, we still criedd over Jordan." Sarah's mother said
through her tears, her hands on her daughters shoulders, squeezing them just enough that they
barely hurt Sarah. "He was a sweet, kind young man. He was such a gentleman, we really are
struck with grief tht he had ot go out like that so young and in such a terrible way!" She errupted
into yet another burst of tears, and hugged Sarah again.
For the rest of that day, they cried and sobbed, talking as best as they possibly could
through their tears about how nice Jordan was, and what had happened. Apparently, the driver of
the semi-truck had fallen asleep at the wheel, and awoke just in time to slam on his brakes to
prevent from hitting another car. He was now on trial for causing the accident and death of
Jordan. Sarah couldn't help but not feel sorry for the driver, thinking that he was the only reason
why her love wasn't by her side.
Sarah finally was released a few days later, the doctor saying all she needed now was
just to go home and get rest there, it being the best place to recover at instead of a sick-people
infested building. The first chance she got, Sarah told her mom to pick up some flowers, and
drove to Jordan's grave. His tombstone was nice and big, and had "Jordan Freeman; 1987-
2005" written in the middle, along with "A devoted football star, son, friend, and boyfriend". The
tombstone was practically buried itself in a mass of flower, from tulips to carnations. Sarah
foundt a nice place to set hers, stood up, and stared at the tombstone.
"I wish you were here by my side... and not six feet in the ground below me." She
began, talking to the piece of large marble. "But, your not.... instead, your in a better place now
hopefully.... and I can't help but feel and think that I deserve to be right there with you, by your
side." She started to cry softly, and pulled a tissue from her pocket, and wiped her eyes. "WE
never really got to say good-bye to each other..... or get married.... or have three great kids...
but, I want you to know, that I miss you...sooo much..." Sarah felt herself on the verge of
breaking down, and felt like she was gonna collapse to the soft, wet earth.
"I just want you to know.... that I'll be with you one day.... maybe not tomorrow... or the
day after that. But one day, I'll be with you again..." With that, she fell to the ground, and leaned
forward, kissing the smooth stone slab, then pulling back to look at it one more time. "Good-bye
love.... and please wait for me..." and with that, Sarah got up, turned around, and walked back
to the car, letting go all the tears she had held in through her whole good-bye speech.
Comments (1)
drace68
"A Terrible Wake-up" works well as a chronicle of events. You stay with Sarah, watch her and report to us (limited omniscient point of view). There are several glitches in grammar, which annoy. Otherwise the chronicle is complete, believable, and sad. There is a mini-story in the first six mega-paragraphs: Sarah wakens, is disoriented to find herself in a hospital room, aid rushes in, the memory of being with Jordan in the car, the truck swerving, her appeal about Jordan, and the truth hits. The story ends with, "Sarah..," the doctor began, "Jordan..." All the rest about her grief and sharing the burden of that grief with her mother, etc. is epilog remove the epilog. [If minimum word count important, expand her angst at being in the hospital and not knowing.] - - - - - - Your explanation ahead of the text is ambiguous: did you write this piece for g/f, or for g/f to hand in as her own work? Dick