I was told by a friend to write about my failings that I needed to chuck out my life and what I would like to put back as part of a cleansing ritual. This is what I came up with. I thought it might help others through a difficult time. Comments and shared stories are most welcome and in fact encouraged. Lots of hugs Sue ************************************ Dear Sue, I know life has been hard for the last few years. I understand that your heart has been hurt and betrayed, but I need to tell you that you can forgive, both the one who hurt you, and yourself. You are allowed to end this time of being alone and accept happiness when it comes your way. You have taken time to find who you are and allowed yourself time to heal. Now accept that you have healed, that you know who you are and what makes you happy. Now take a step forward and allow yourself to feel. Allow your heart to live again, to fly or dig into the soil. Stop just looking at others living. Be there with them. Walk the path they have chosen and laugh and love again. You, Sue, of all people know how to laugh. You had a bubble inside you that floated every day. A bubble of joy that everyone around you loved. Allow that bubble to exist again. Stop being hard and bitter about the past. He was only one man. One person who hurt you, who cleaved your heart in two with his hurtful words and hard hands. He was a man with feet of clay, who had no thought of those he hurt when he lusted after other women, when he undressed them and layed his hands on them. He was the one who was dirty and spoiled, not you. You stayed clean and faithful, you gave love and all of yourself to him. You gave him children to love and provided him with a family. It was his choice to not phone them when he left. It was his decision not to be a part of their lives but to change his direction which did not include you. You know if you followed him when he moved, you would still have been in the bad situation of abuse, both mentally and physically. You had to make a choice to survive, to give your children a chance to heal and become whole. To exist in a home where love was not tolerated but embraced. You have changed, Sue. I cannot say for the better as you have become hard, become distant. You need to find that joy, Sue. You need to take a step back and find your inner happiness again. You need to find your peace and love that existed soul deep. Then you can love again. Then you can accept love again. Be loved, Sue. With this letter, Sue, take a step back. Keep the knowledge you have learned and earned but take a step back. Let your children know the real you that once was. The personality that thrived on helping others. Let them see that life does not end after divorce. It is OK to find another person. A person who is worthy of your love. Someone who will love you back with equal ferocity, with equal joy, with equal faithfulness. Allow that person to enter your life before you close the door in his face. Then take hold of your family and hold on tight. I love you. All my love and hugs Sue