Bella & Donna's Guide To Kung Foo by Azr1el
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Description
As you can see, I have much to learn about "compositing" :)
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So Who are Bella and Donna? They're Kung Foo Babe Masters and below is an extract from their latest book on mastering Kung Foo, which will be available from your local bookshop... probably never.
Chapter 23: "How To Pass as a Kung Foo Master"
(A survival's guide to dangerous situations)
The situation: you are blissfully minding your own business when a group of thugs suddenly blocks your way...
Step 1:
Look at your opponents with confidence and determination and strike a Kung Foo pose. The most popular and most recommended one is "The Little Toad's Deadly Choke". It will strike fear in the eyes of your enemies. Do not go for "The Crane" if you're not Karate Kid and if you have no sense of balance.
* Your opponents leave you alone, go to Step 6
* Your opponents are laughing at you, go to Step 2
* You performed "The Crane" and lost your balance, go to Step 5
Step 2:
Listen to the midi-chlorians in your blood and say to your opponents: "You don't wish to fight me. You want to let me go." As you say these words, wave at your opponents. Do not make it too obvious, you don't want to reveal that you are ALSO a Jedi!
* Your opponents leave you alone, go to Step 6
* Your opponents are still laughing at you, go to Step 3
Step 3:
Kung Foo Masters are wise, very wise. You can often deflect an attack by impressing your adversaries with your infinite knowledge and wisdom. Look at them with confidence and say something deep, profound and meaningful - say the following slowly: "One apple a day keeps the doctor away." Don't go for cryptic proberbs like "Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime" - no-one gets them!
* Your opponents leave you alone, go to Step 6
* Your opponents are still laughing at you, go to Step 4
Step 4:
At this stage, you can forget about "The Little Toad's Deadly Choke". Instead, quickly perform a "Sprinting Cheetah" trick in the opposite direction of your opponents!
* Your opponents let you go, go to Step 6
* Your opponents are chasing you, go to Step 5
Step 5:
Your life is about to flash before your eyes... There's nothing more we can teach you...
Step 6:
Well done, you can pass as a Kung Foo Master!
Next Chapter: "1,001 Ways To Cook Chicken"
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Many thanks for viewing this image and for reading all the above nonsense :)
Credits:
Girls' morphs by me
Background image by Axeye (Thanks a mil Rob for the backdrop)
Poses by Danie & marforno
Clothes (mix and match) by AerySoul and by orion1167
Hair by SWAM and outoftouch
Comments (32)
kot23
You must be a high-priest of ZEN! :) Great pic, btw... but the text is a gem!
meselfr
nice work.. :)
Nuria
Impressive, original, fantastic image !! Very beautiful character, extraordinary background , lighting and fantastic colors !!
Nightwright
Your artwork is impressive, but the text is sooooooo fantastic!!!!!!! I haven't laughed like this for a long time :o)
spetzarv
Great images and hilarious storyline aswell. What a multi talented woman you are!
jjean21
What a hoot first thing in the morning...the instructions are priceless and the render is just marvelous. Love the color tones, setting and poses. Aw Heck, I like it all.
GRiMAge
"Step 3bis: have them see the communicative power of a kung foo master! Quietly pick up your mobile phone and calls in a dozen friends to come bashing their heads" and "Step3bis-bis (for phoneless and clueless would-be kung foo masters): flash your assets at the thugs band and while they're arguing between themselves on who comes first quickly apply step 4! (a movie favourite"!!! ROFLMAO!!! Thank you for this awesome laugh!!! ^_^ The image is very cool with the warm tones and the great kung foo pose, but the text totally rocks!!! LOL! I want to be a kung foo master too i have lots of step 3 wisdom to share!! "When the dreams are crappy, wake up and be happy" :P
Azr1el
LOL! Cris, that's so true - that additional info will have to appear in the 2007 edition! :))))
rixster
Excellent image - great characters and outfits and the lighting is superb!!! Awesome text too - can't wait for the chicken lessons... mmmmm chicken - LOL.
visionality
I really love the way you work with colors and setup. Great image as always. Can't wait to see your next :)
mejed
LOL...this is great...Love the pic, laughed my butt off at you`re Kung Foo instructions. Great sennse of humor.
Beniu
Great stuff! Thanks a lot! Fantastic lookin scenery with outstanding lights! Thanks : for text ,too!:) HUGZ_BENIU :) VVV!
Gora
theyre definately living up to their joint names... stunning image, your lighting is fab :)
chimera46
cool poses and scene. well done!
DRAKELOT
Amazing stuff my friend !!! Beautiful morphs on your girls ...V
papachile
LOL! Apparently, the pebble was never snatched! LOL! Awesome image and words!
Kerbad
kule, love it
ChristineG
what a great scene. the poses are awesome. love the fighting pose.. that is excellent. the colors are stunning. wonderful pice of work V Z
Burpee
Belladonna...very clever ;) Fantastic!
jif3d
Super Kung-fooey instructions...I use the last one all the time ( sprinting cheetah ) right up my alley ! Your posing detail's are top notch, funky compositing skills ! Fine work Sabine indeed, you're the BEST ! LOL & ~Cheers~ :o)
ThePinkus
Nice picture! And such a funny handbook! BTW step4 is always my first ;^)!!!
Morgana61
Sei bravissimo con poser...fantastic work!
NocturnalRamble
lol thats cute... Also a beautiful render this is. The lighting the pose most excellent!!!
VoidDweller
Nice image! Poses and colors are great.
DonaKuka
LOL Hilarious guide!!! And fantastic image...Great beackground too!...Excellent work!!!
kodewarrior1
Awesome image!! I love the outfit u used, the colors and, last but not least, the babes!! ^_^ V
dam2011
Fantastic & Beautiful Work !!!! Excellent !!!
Axeye
Being such a sci fi fan as I am, I love all your images! And this one really rocks!!! Your characters are stunning and I love those outfits!!! The details in this are fabulous too! Another Fav, another Vote!!! Awesome work!
logansfury
Very beautiful char morphs. I think the names of the twins are brilliant and the short story is absolutely hilarious! Thanks for posting :)
Digimon
You have a good sense of perspective! Many people don't match the foreground figures/objects to the perspective of the backdrop, which shatters the illusion of real depth. In this image, your low camera angle matches the perspective of the backdrop pretty well! And your attention to matching the light sources and colors also makes this work! Great job!! The subject matter is quite entertaining as well!!!