BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (11)
Kerbad
This is a fact of fact of life my friend, Sara will grow stronger and stronger, and so will we....This is a beautiful image lots of emotions,
A_
"Why will we fight fiercely for friends and let ourselves die an inch at a time? Is it because it is easier to see worth in others?"- good question... and beautiful image. so expressive.
seothan
What you have written is exactly the results of us being driven into the ground emotionally and physically from childhood/and thus we are unable, quite frankly to "believe that we are worth anything(that is what we learned from a parent's actions and words)".So we are adept and respond to others who we see deep pain and worth in.This is exactly what emapathy developed from suffering means.Friend we would save the earth simply because we feel it's pain without hesitation if we could.Absolutely incredible image,deep and it speaks without words.
Lashia
Wow, I LOVE this one. I love the character and the expression, the pose... Great image! Beautiful :-D
ARTWITHIN
Another excellent image, Yo. Interesting effect on the face, almost as though she is in clown makeup. There may be some symbolism there. Her expression displays anger and resentment. I am certain she has many reasons for that, but perhaps has not realized that it is herself she is most angry with, for not taking charge of her own life, accepting powerlessness, and the sense she cannot change her destiny. As long as one person sees value in her, there is hope she will find value in herself. Sometimes it takes another person to shine a light on the beauty and value that exists.
shutterb
Beautiful moody image... Great lighting and expression
mooreno
Yomah you have to be one of the most powerful painters around/now put Yomah fitt and you will become stronger and yoy will be ever to hel others more. no soul shuld suffer.
Dendrite
Please read the words of ARTWITHIN again, there is so much wisdom there it takes my breath away!
titta
She's got you, Yomah! And that's something really special. You show it so well in your impressive painting. Lonely hearts with all the painful stories can see into each others' heart and soul. Such a great composition, and the expression and the colours on her face are so well thought and seen. Excellent work, as always.
SoulSearcherr
touching...the look in her eyes..so moving...sigh..you move me
royc8
Very moving and expressive, she is lucky to have you as a friend.