1st of all I'm writeing this because I don't have the answers and was hoping someone might.. I'm not getting them in the real world or from my son's mother and am at a loss for what to do!! A smile lights a father's face, his son was born today.. A small gift of light in an otherwise dark and unfortuanate relationship!! Life had thrown many surprises his way.. His wife was petite and gorgeous with a will and temper that could at best remind you of a rageing fire consumeing all that was good in a man!! But he did try to love her as best as he knew how despite all that was wrong with thier lives.. His son is 2 today, and is his pride and joy.. His marriage lies in ruins but the time spent with his son make's it almost bearable!! Life is spent argueing with his wife, working and spending as much time as possible with his son.. The only joy he see's in life!! Today his son turns four, he's bee divorced for a couple of months.. He has to assume it's all for the best after all she hated him!! And is head over heals for the guy he found her with.. The second boyfriend in less than months and only eight or nine years younger than her!! But his son still brings him great joy and pride.. He's smart and is growing up to be a hansome little boy!! he'll surely make his father proud one day.. Being a greater person than his father had ever attained!! His son started school this year, his grades are amazeing.. His reading and math skills above all in his class!! Proof that all of my efforts have proven effective.. The teacher's love him and his mom is very proud of her little boy!! Doesn't want her son to think she took after his father though.. All of his good traits come from her family!! Oh, well all of my dreams for him are proving correct.. My son's 10 years old, his grade's are none existant.. He hate's his teacher and everone else around him!! Threatened to kill me today... I'm no longer his father, just an old man!! Got into trouble at school, and has devastated the lives of everyone around him.. His mom blames me of course; psychologist don't seem to have any real answers all the test's come back negative.. A father's pride falter's unable to answer the questions!! Today his son is eleven, can't tell him what to do anymore.. Threatens to kill me and rip my various body parts off on an almost daily basis!! Has even threatened his little sister.. Can't tell him what to do!! Can't give him time out or put him into the room, he just leaves via door or window.. If I touch him to put him there he start's swinging!! What does a father do, no rule's, no punishment and can't defend himself without being considered abusive and feeling guilty.. After all he's a F*cking B*tch and a psychotic old man!! Everyone know's what he is and hates him right.. At time's it feels like his son is gone!! Part of me hate's him for what he's become and may become later in life.. All the pride I've felt for so long is gone replaced by a bitter helplessness!! His son is convinced that his old man should fear him.. And since he doesn't he must be suffering from psychosis!! Shake my head, questions, confusion, doubt and hoplesness seem to dominate life.. The father in me want's to be around to see the final results of my son's growing up and becomeing a man!! Another part of me fears what he will become and weaps for the little boy that was lost 2 years ago to something that feels and acts evil and beyond the reach of a father's love and compassion.. Please don't judge me for writeing something so personal on this sight.. I don't have any real friends in the real world and absolutely no answers!! All the advice I get from his mother is to let him go and do his own thing.. I sit alone feeling guilty for trying to keep a semblance of control and order in my son's life!! Bothered because I had a little boy that spent a good 6 or 7 minutes trying to punch and hit me while I tried to push him back and keep things under control.. I really don't know how much one person can take!! You try to walk away while still maintaining some control of the situation only to have him back in your face and swinging.. You don't want to hurt him, and you know your not the abusive person he want's you to be and seem's determined to try to make you!! Unless someone lives through it they can't really understand what it's like.. It's easy to say it doesn't happen and he's just being a normal child, but I can assure you there is nothing normal in what I have to deal with!!