Exam Timeline by femalien
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Description
It is the evening before an important exam, let's say "The Chemistry of Silicates" or "Economic Outcomes of the War of Roses". Here's the timeline for a typical student preparing him/herself for this important event:
Friday evening 09:30 p.m. E.T.A. 10 hrs 30 mins. First preparations for the exam. Exam kit: notebooks, books, paper, ballpoint pens, cheating devices + phone best friends to save a good seat next to them.
Friday evening 11:00 p.m. E.T.A. 9 hrs. Realizing the absurdity of carrying all the books and cheating devices, as there will be at leats 4 supervisors patrolling the exam hall. Reorganizing the exam kit: four sheets of paper + 1 ballpoint pen.
Saturday morning 01:30 a.m E.T.A. 6 hrs 30 mins. Tossing around in bed, trying to remember something, ANYTHING of the subject matter for the exam. Panic as the memory turns a blank, which is perfectly normal since you didn't bother to read a line from all the courses.
Saturday morning 02:00 a.m. E.T.A. 6 hours. After the panic attack, trying to feel better by counting all the classmates who haven't studied either. Realize they represent at least 80% of the entire class. Satisfied, smiling, you fall asleep.
Saturday morning 05:30 a.m. E.T.A. 2 hrs, 30 mins. Wake up, drink coffee, grab backpack, and rush to the exam hall to get a "good seat, first class". Once arrived you realize that you only got a "bad seat, first desk". The good seats were occupied since 4 a.m. Excentrics...
08:00 - X hour arrives and the professor with the subjects enters the exam hall.
08:01 - Professor finishes handing out the subjects
08:01:50 - Stupefied pause after reading the subjects. Realizing you don't know anything
08:02 - First feedbacks "darned idiot, I KNEW he was up to something!", "did we really study all these? I don't remember..."
08:03 - Emergency plan A: write whatever passes through the mind.
08:03:20 - Realizing the futility of emergency plan A and jumping to emergency plan B - self encouragement: "No one else knows the subjects"
08:30- handing out the paper and getting out of the exam hall
08:45 - scientific comments on the exam with other students. The F-word is prominent and crops out every 2 words. Certain references towards the professor, his mother, sister, wife daughter, etc.
10:00 - going back into the exam hall for the check-up of the paper. The professor marks the answers carefully with illuminating comments: "No... nnno....wrong.....nope...not even close...nnnnoo"
12:00 - back at home, Yahoo messenger, status according to the situation, Invisble for the nerds. 2 hours afternoon nap. Health comes first!
Comments (5)
heartnsoul
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!....oh I almost certainly expected to see that at 8:45am there would have been comments about the professor's lack of intimate contact! Well, done, even in panick mode you kept your sense of humor!! I've known (of course not me) students to sneak in and bite the erasers off the tops of pencils, remove ink cartridges from pens, of the ones that are at the desks at 4am. I've heard some wild stories at exam time! I really enjoyed this.Sooooooo....you pass? I'm assuming you passed! Right?!
drace68
U'mm. Difficult situation. One ploy used by many of my classmates was to rephrase the posted question as an "almost" answer. That way the prof knew, at the very least, you were alive and thinking during the test. But short answer science questions or math, ouch. -- Dick
TallPockets
LOVE your wit and style!! I once took my college ACT tests. The instructor told us we'd get '400' points just for putting our 'name' at the top of the test! So, TallPockets, in his infinite 'wisdom' wrote his name. TWICE. Somehow, the instructor didn't have T.P's. sense of humor and would not allow him to sought after '800' points. SIGH. My best to you and yours, kind soul. WRITE ON!! T.P.
femalien
Dear friends, the timeline above was really for an exam called "Introduction to the Mass Media System", a course that shows you why you shouldn't have chosen the Faculty of Journalism and, since you chose it, all the ways it can make your life miserable. I passed with an "honourable" 5 (in Europe, marks are ranged from 1 to 10 and 5 is the lowest mark for passing an exam; that is why in students' vocabulary it is also known as "oxygen").
DennisReed
LOL! I remember my 1st 2 years of college. My Timeline was much less hectic. We never had class on the weekends! so changing it to when we did: Thursday 9PM Party Hardy Friday 3AM crawl in bed Friday 8AM awoken by friends yelling about how big the surf is at 10th Sreet! Friday 8:01AM fleeting memory about Major History exam at 9AM this day! Friday 8:02AM Quick evaluation, never attended class, sold book 3rd week in for beer, isn't study a four letter word, Friday 9AM Best tube ride of the year. Side note, 2 years later, drafted Dec 1965 I remember my Last 4 years of college. I only took my noise out of my textbooks to take exams. Dean's list 4yrs running. ;) My how we grow up! Thanks for the memories!